Proposing can be a nerve-wracking experience. Traditionally, you have to get the parents’ blessing before getting down on one knee and asking your person to spend the rest of their life with you. Talk about putting your relationship in a vulnerable position.
For one guy, his worst nightmare came true when he proposed to his girlfriend of 6 years on vacation in Hawaii and she said no. Her reason? It wasn’t what she was expecting. The guy turned to Reddit to share his sad story.
More info: Reddit
A marriage proposal can be a daunting affair, as this guy found out the hard way
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Having discussed marriage at length with his girlfriend and getting her parents’ blessing, he decided to propose during their vacation in Hawaii
Image credits: Gad Samuel / Pexels (not the actual photo)
After two days of postponing, he finally gathered up the courage to do it while on a romantic night walk at the beach
Image credits: halayalex / Freepik (not the actual photo)
As he reached into his pocket and got down on one knee, his girlfriend stopped him mid-moment, telling him it wasn’t what she expected
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Apparently, she wanted a grander gesture at sunset, with her beloved doggo present
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Gutted, the guy stood up, turned around, and went straight back to the hotel, telling his girlfriend they could talk about it the next day
Image credits: Brett Jordan / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
After a few tense days, the couple headed home, and the ungrateful girlfriend spent the night at her parents
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When she came back, she emphasized how unhappy she was with his proposal and demanded a do-over
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The guy felt that was unfair and said she'd only become interested in an Insta-worthy engagement recently, originally preferring a more intimate affair
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The guy's girlfriend tried to apologize and told him she regretted her actions, but it was too little, too late
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Fed up, the guy decided to end the couple's six-year relationship altogether, preferring to sleep on the couch until his girlfriend could move out
OP begins his story by telling the community that he and his girlfriend had been together for 6 years. Over Thanksgiving weekend, he took her on a week-long vacation to Hawaii with the hope of proposing to her.
He adds that the issue was that his girlfriend wanted a grand marriage proposal but, considering the trip was somewhat last-minute, he didn’t have the time to pull off anything that elaborate. Regardless, he figured a proposal in Hawaii would do.
On their second day, they went out for dinner and drinks. OP says his girlfriend had mentioned before that she wanted a sunset proposal, but he opted to pop the question during a romantic late-night beach walk instead.
Well, while OP dropped to one knee, his girlfriend stopped him and said, “I hope you’re not about to propose to me right now, this isn’t what I expected.” Gutted, OP got up and walked back to the hotel.
When the next day came, OP’s girlfriend told him she wanted him to propose again, just this time at sunset. OP said he couldn’t since he’d already been rejected, but she argued it wasn’t a rejection, it just wasn’t how she expected it to go down. After 4 tense days, they returned home, and OP’s girlfriend went to stay with her parents for the day.
In an update to his original post, OP tells readers that his girlfriend had always been a bit self-centered but, since going to therapy, she’d become more compassionate—something that encouraged his idea to propose in the first place.
Despite that, and based on her dismissive and disrespectful behavior, OP decided to end things and sleep on the couch until she could pack up her things and go live with her parents.
Based on what OP tells us in his post, it would definitely seem that his girlfriend was too focused on the superficialities, missing the entire point of his proposal.
That being said, if all goes well, you're only proposed to once in your life, so perhaps she felt entitled to everything being just how she had imagined it.
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Proposals these days can get quite elaborate, with some even going viral on social media. So, if you’re thinking of popping the question, what are some interesting proposal ideas?
In her article for Hitched, Maisie Peppitt puts forward some proposal suggestions that are guaranteed to get a yes. Some of our favorites include recreating your first date, going on a private tour of a museum, hiring a hot air balloon on safari, taking a private yacht cruise at sunset, proposing on a road trip, or going impromptu ring shopping.
In an article for the BBC, Michele Velazquez of The Heart Bandits in Los Angeles says her most intricate proposal event was in a rooftop garden in New York, where delights for the bride-to-be featured a custom monogram at the bottom of the pool, towering orchid arrangements, a gift of Manolo Blahnik shoes, and a string quartet.
Maybe something like that was out of OP’s budget, but we’re sure with a little more planning and discussion, he could have come up with a proposal closer to what his girlfriend had in mind. Perhaps it was just never meant to be.
Bored Panda reached out to psychologist Dr. Deborah Hecker to get her professional take on the situation.
When we asked her what she thought of OP’s girlfriend’s behavior, she had this to say, “Although the woman wanted a grand setting for the proposal, but understood the limitations, the two agreed on a proposal at sunset. However, OP unilaterally changed the setting, rationalizing that she would still be happy.”
Hecker goes on, “He was wrong to have done that as they were united in their decision, and she trusted him to honor it. Her disappointment, therefore, is understandable.”
Hecker added, “The manner in which she handled her disillusionment, by asking him for a redo, was insensitive, emasculating, and arrogant. It would have been much better if she had accepted the proposal and later talked to him about her disappointment.”
We asked Dr. Hecker for one piece of advice she’d offer to someone considering popping the question.
“The most important part of how-to-propose is in the details. My advice to someone figuring out how to create the perfect proposal is to know your partner’s preferences and customize the proposal as much as possible,” concluded Hecker.
What would you have done if you’d found yourself in OP’s shoes? Would you have tried again, or walked away? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
In the comments, folks agreed that the girlfriend was full of red flags and wondered what her wedding expectations might have been if that was how she reacted to the proposal
