Almost everyone hopes that the relationship they’re in will last a lifetime and stay as healthy and happy as it's been so far. The problem is that folks get so caught up in these feelings that they often tend to disregard their partner’s red flags until it’s too late.
This is the realization a man had after his girlfriend let her heartbroken male bestie take over their apartment, and then painted her boyfriend as the bad guy when he set boundaries. This hurt the man a lot, and he eventually had to take a stand.
More info: Reddit
When partners stop putting each other first and treat other people better, it’s often a signal that something’s wrong between them
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The poster shared that he was living with his girlfriend and that things were going well, until she allowed her heartbroken male bestie, Jude, to come over way too often
Image credits: marymarkevich / Magnific (not the actual photo)
When the man eventually set boundaries with Jude, his girlfriend, Kelly, called him toxic, and added him to her friend group chat so that they could roast him
Image credits: dimaberlin-1 / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Since the poster was being treated so badly by Kelly, he left their apartment for a bit, and was shocked when Jude contacted him just to reprimand him for his behavior
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The man decided he couldn’t take any more of Kelly and her friends’ toxic behavior, so he told her to move out immediately, which ended with her having a meltdown
Image credits: jet-po / Magnific (not the actual photo)
Kelly kept trying to get the poster to forgive her, but she soon realized he was serious about ending things when he got his friend over as emotional backup
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The poster also reminded Kelly about all the mean things she had done to him, which made her realize that he didn’t want to fix their relationship at all
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Later on, Kelly told her ex that she had moved into her brother’s place and that she turned down Jude’s offer to let her sleep on his couch
Image credits: Schattenspringer
The poster felt glad to have gotten rid of his toxic ex and her mean friends, but he still occasionally missed her
It seems like the poster and his girlfriend, Kelly, had been doing fine since they had also just recently moved in together. The problems all began when she allowed her heartbroken best friend, Jude, to come over way too often, without setting any kind of limits or boundaries with him.
According to survey respondents, it’s reasonable for a buddy to stay over for 3-7 days, but anything longer might be quite unpleasant. This could be because folks might need to change their routines just to accommodate their friends, and they may not want to maintain that behavior for long.
The poster definitely felt this way because he could no longer hang out with his girlfriend since Jude was always around. He also grew irritated that the other man was staying over for most of the day, taking up their space, eating a lot of the food being cooked, and not even paying rent.
In situations like this, it might be difficult to set boundaries, especially if your partner feels that their friend needs a lot of support. That’s why folks say the best way to approach this situation is to calmly talk to the guest and explain how you’re feeling. They might then be able to understand that they’re intruding on your space, and may decide to leave sooner.
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The poster finally decided to set boundaries with his girlfriend’s best friend, and also gave her an ultimatum about the situation. This made her feel that he was being toxic, and she purposely added him to a group chat with her friends so that they could roast him and call him coldhearted.
Although ultimatums can signal problems in a relationship, experts explain that they often stem from worry or fear. When a person puts their partner in this position, it could be because they don’t know what else to do to salvage the bond, and they see this as their last resort.
This is probably what the poster felt, which is why he decided to leave their apartment and let Kelly figure out where her loyalties lay. Unfortunately, Jude ended up texting the poster and tried to guilt-trip him about his fight with his girlfriend, which made the OP realize that she was bad-mouthing him to everyone.
Eventually, the man realized that it would be better to end things with his girlfriend, and he told her that she would have to move out of their apartment. Luckily, he had also called his friend for emotional support during that time, which helped him stay strong in the face of her manipulation.
Do you think the man did the right thing by breaking up with his girlfriend over this issue? We’d love to hear what you think about this situation.
Folks felt that Kelly had gone to such lengths for Jude because she probably wanted to date him, and that it was good that the poster got out when he did
