Woman Refuses To Quit Going To Her Ex-BF's Favorite Korean BBQ Place, Asks If She's Wrong

When a long-term couple goes through a breakup, they often discover that they need to divide up a number of things. Pets, household appliances, and sometimes friends end up having to pick sides. But is there a rule about restaurants?

So one woman wondered if she was perhaps in the wrong when she continued to visit a Korean BBQ restaurant that had been her ex’s favorite. Things came to a head when he took a new girl there and decided to berate OP for the audacity of still eating at a place he liked so much. Readers shared their mirth at the idea that a person could claim a fully public restaurant.

When couples break up, they inevitably go through the process of divvying up all the things they have acquired while together. While casual relationships might not suffer from this issue, a breakup with a cohabiting partner is similar to a divorce, with one needing to vacate the place they live and potentially negotiating who gets what. After all appliances, cutlery, bedding, and who knows what else that was purchased together now need to be split. Anyone who has been with the same person for a while can no doubt imagine all the things that were purchased “jointly” and now need to be split up. Board games, plants, and even pets, for example.

This issue is further complicated if the breakup was not mutually agreed upon or if one partner hurt the other in some way. It’s pretty easy to imagine the victim of cheating having almost no inclination to help the cheater get some stuff back. On the other hand, sentimental items may lose their value, as who wants to keep something that reminds them of a horrible ex? Or what about friends who may now feel the need to pick sides?

That all being said, the commenters are completely correct that some random guy can’t just claim a restaurant and ban OP from it. This is impractical, entitled, and frankly, ridiculous behavior, as the ex-boyfriend is just some random customer, not the owner, manager, or even employee of the location. Indeed, his behavior is so unhinged that it borders on paranoia, as he calls her out for stalking and can’t believe she enjoys Korean BBQ as much as she does. It’s hard to pick which statement makes less sense.

His reaction to seeing her is so neurotic that he would probably have exploded regardless of where he encountered her. This is, unfortunately, quite common in breakups, where one party tends to take it pretty hard and often develops a number of psychological issues. Substance abuse is common, as well as negative emotions, from guilt to anger. Interestingly, people start to take too much interest in what their ex is doing, which can manifest as stalking. While it seems that neither party is stalking the other here, it’s pretty clear that the ex-boyfriend still has some hang-ups if he can’t stand to see his ex in public.

His precise statements reveal some degree of delusions (delulu, as some might say) for example, demanding to know why she was there. This would imply that he really thinks she isn’t there for the food, but, perhaps, the off chance of seeing him. As common as this sort of bizarre behavior might be, it’s unfortunately another side effect of not coping well with a breakup.

On the flip side, breakups often have positive effects. In the long run, it’s always better to be single than in a bad relationship, regardless of how it might feel at the time. Particularly among young adults, breakups are a normal learning experience, to better understand themselves, what they want, and the boundaries they want to set for themselves. Some psychologists also point to stress-related growth, where healthy, well-adjusted people treat a failed relationship like a learning experience. Unfortunately for OP, her ex does not seem to be in any of these categories.