![“[Am I The Jerk] For Convincing My Girlfriend Not To Wear A White Dress On Our Wedding Day?”](https://img.boredpanda.com/unsafe/rs:fit:3840:0/q:80/aHR0cHM6Ly9zdGF0aWMuYm9yZWRwYW5kYS5jb20vYmxvZy93cC1jb250ZW50L3VwbG9hZHMvMjAyMy8wOC9naXJsZnJpZW5kLXdoaXRlLWRyZXNzLXdlZGRpbmctZGF5LXJlZGRpdC1mYjk3LXBuZ19fNzAwLmpwZw.webp)
Weddings are supposed to be a celebration of the union of two people. Everyone should be happy, partaking in the festivities and joy should be as abundant as alcohol typically is at weddings, and then that one uncle gets carried away and starts drinking from a shoe he found that’s actually the grandmother’s, thinking it was the bride’s. All harmless fun!
Instead, the wedding hasn’t even started and the bride and the groom are fighting over the color of the dress because it has to be a true symbol of the bride’s sociobiological status signifying her purity. Yippy.
More Info: Reddit
Weddings are supposed to be a celebration. However, it doesn't take much to ruin it, like throwing out demands for what wedding gown the bride can and can't wear
Image credits: x1klima (not the actual photo)
A guy turned to Reddit for some perspective on whether he's a jerk for convincing his fiancee to wear a dress of a particular color all because she's not a virgin
Image credits: SweetStickyThrowAway
While the fiancee agreed to wear anything but white, she couldn't live with that idea and humiliation this entailed, so she now wants to call off the wedding
Image credits: bm.iphone (not the actual photo)
So, a couple had a falling out over a wedding issue. The guy comes from a Christian family that is very strong in its faith. So, by proxy, he notes in his post that his family has this wedding tradition that the bride wears a dress with its color aesthetic corresponding to whether she’s a virgin or not.
Because the family knew that the wife-to-be is not “pure,” the guy was more or less pressured by the family tradition (and somewhat by the matron of the family) into making sure the appropriate colors are chosen for the ceremony. This undoubtedly upset the bride, but, despite that she agreed to play along and went with a glittery blue dress. There’s probably a Disney reference somewhere there…
Anywho, the woman just couldn’t let it go and decided that she can’t accept being humiliated this way. So, it was ultimatum time: she said she wouldn't be marrying him if this whole wedding dress color scheme was such a big deal. The guy didn’t think so, thus meaning that Reddit’s arbitrage was due.
Image credits: Neal Jennings (not the actual photo)
And, oh boy, did Reddit arbitrate the situation. The guy was dubbed the jerk immediately, for a number of reasons. First and foremost, folks were very suspicious of the guy’s level of maturity. Their comments pointed out that he is nearly a decade older than his bride, yet he’s still worried about what mom thinks.
This is besides the fact that the guy is essentially allowing his wife to be shamed by the family. Christians in the comments explained that this is unkind, judgmental and controlling, and there’s nothing Christian about that.
People also started poking holes in this family tradition by questioning why the guy doesn't have to wear anything else if he’s not a virgin. One commenter claimed she did some digging and found out the guy’s not only not a virgin any more, but also divorced. This only adds to the irony of it all.
Ultimately, folks ruled YTA on this one as the guy’s future wife deserves better from someone who’s supposed to be her support, protection and reprise for the rest of her life. The post garnered 12,000 upvotes with a good handful of Reddit awards.
For context, I think it’s safe to say that tradition should be considered in context and the reasoning behind why folks hold on to it should be evaluated. Because the wedding is all about the bride and the groom, their union, it’s only appropriate that they get to choose what’s a meaningful way to celebrate it.
Image credits: Paula Satijn (not the actual photo)
My Dressbox explains the most common traditions, pointing out their meanings, origins and why they matter (or not). Wedding gowns were originally red, and the tradition was discontinued after Queen Victoria decided to go with white.
These days, the color is associated with purity, but just like Queen Victoria changed, the bride can do so as well. The encouragement is to wear something that the bride couldn’t wait to wear.
Other traditions, like the veil and the first look, are based on what some would call superstition. The veil is originally said to protect the bride from curses and malevolent spirits, while seeing your bride before the actual wedding was considered bad luck.
Same with the bouquet—it used to include fragrant bundles of garlic, herbs, and spices to fend off evil spirits. Same with matching dresses for bridesmaids—collective clothing identifies any “evil spirits” trying to infiltrate themselves.
If you’re not into that sort of shtick, change it. Just like Queen Victoria changed the color of the dress, everyone else is allowed to create a wedding composition that would be meaningful to them.
But what are your thoughts on this? Are you for tradition, do you prefer a more modern take on weddings? Share anything and everything in the comment section below!
And folks online couldn't agree with her more, dubbing the guy a jerk and pointing out why this is wrong
