A person’s bond with their pets is pretty much unbreakable, especially if they’ve had them for a long time. Whether it’s an emotional support animal or just a garden variety fur baby, there’s a strong sense of attachment that’s comparable even to human relationships.
One woman got the shock of her life after her boyfriend announced she’d have to give away her pets before moving in with him. She immediately refused, then shared with Reddit that she was thinking of ending the relationship.
More info: Reddit
Moving in together is a big step, but you don't expect to have to choose between your partner and your pets
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After planning to move in together, this man told his girlfriend she had to give away her two exotic animals
Image credits: rawpixel.com / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Shocked, she told him there was no way that was going to happen and that even asking it was hurtful
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Still hurting, she turned to Reddit for advice and said she was considering quitting the relationship
Image credits: Miriam Fischer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
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Before she could end things, her boyfriend broke up with her over Facetime
OP begins her story by telling the community that she and her boyfriend had been together for about two years and known each other for three. She adds that he’s a recovering addict who has lived in a sober house and with his friend, while she’s lived alone in her one-bedroom apartment.
She admits that her relationship with her boyfriend has had its ups and downs, and that they’ve struggled with their differences on some major issues but, when they’re not fighting, they’re happy as clams.
Recently, he’s been talking about buying a house and, since she wants out of her apartment, they agreed to move in together, something they’d been discussing for a while. At that point in her story, she reveals that she has four pets and has had them for the last four years.
One night while they were discussing moving in, OP’s boyfriend said he hoped she knew she’d have to give up two of her pets, a bearded dragon and a leopard gecko. Bewildered, OP said there was no way that was going to happen.
The next day OP told him that even the suggestion that she part with her pets had been hurtful, at which point he backed off and admitted that he’d possibly been at fault. OP says she’s now considering breaking things off because, if he really knew her, he’d have known his suggestion was absurd.
In an update to her original post, OP revealed to Reddit that the pushy boyfriend broke up with her on Facetime, something that left her flabbergasted. At least her pets are safe.
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There are red flags all over OP’s post, so it’s surprising she was even considering moving in with her problematic man, let alone buying a house with him. But how do you know when you’re ready to shack up with a romantic partner, and when is it too soon?
In an article for VeryWellMind, professor and clinical psychologist Sabrina Romanoff, PsyD, says that moving in together means that you're making a significant investment in the relationship. She goes on to list some signs to look out for that suggest it’s time to take the big step.
For starters, if you’re basically living together already, it’s probably time. If you’re ready to take your commitment to a deeper level, and you both want the same things, that’s two more green flags. Other signs include having honest and thorough conversations about finances and agreeing you’re not moving to solve a problem.
Once you’ve moved in together, Romanoff suggests keeping communication lines open and maintaining your independence by seeing your own friends and indulging your separate hobbies and interests. Accept your partner for who they are and don’t be afraid if things get a little bumpy - it’s a big step and there are bound to be a few niggly bits.
In her article for MindBodyGreen, Tianna Soto writes that experts warn moving in together too soon can damage a relationship. If you move in with your partner too early, you’re at risk of still being in the honeymoon phase—when you feel very passionate, content, and attached to your partner—but you're least likely to see their inevitable flaws and quirks clearly.
Therapist and author of The Mindful Relationship, Lauren Korshak, says, “I have clients who have broken up almost immediately after moving in together. The move and co-occurring stresses were the first real challenges they faced in the relationship."
There are some pretty black and white signs that it’s probably best to keep living apart. For instance, if you feel pressured to live together or you’ve moving in to “save the relationship”, cohabitation isn’t a great idea. If you can’t resolve conflicts and disagreements, or you don’t trust each other fully, it’s also a no go.
What would you have done if you were in OP’s shoes? And what do you think of the boyfriend’s behavior? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
Redditors in the comments told the woman she probably dodged a bullet and that moving in with someone she’s incompatible with was a terrible idea in the first place
