Back in school, I was once accused of something really stupid that I didn’t do, and a teacher made me run 4 miles as punishment. Of course, as a meek kid, I didn’t really say anything and just did it, but the fact that I loved running might have been why.
The 7-year-old daughter of the original poster (OP) was not at all meek like me. She refused to do the punishment chores that her dad assigned her as she was wrongfully accused of stealing a puppy, but this angered him as he expected her to blindly obey him.
More info: Reddit
Some kids have such a strong sense of justice that they stand up for themselves when they are wrongfully accused
Image credits: Kai-Chieh Chan / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster's 7-year-old daughter found a puppy in their yard and played with it, but it turned out to belong to their neighbor, who claimed that she had stolen it
Image credits: Guilty_God_OfGoo
Image credits: Samuel Peter / Pexels (not the actual photo)
To punish her, dad gave her chores to do but she straightaway refused, saying she had not stolen the puppy, and even the neighbors admitted later that he had slipped away
Image credits: Guilty_God_OfGoo
Her dad felt that she should be disciplined to listen to him, but the poster put her foot down that she wouldn't let her take the fall for something she didn't do
In today’s story, Reddit user Guilty_God_OfGoo tells us how she conflicted with her husband when it came to their 7-year-old daughter. The child found a puppy in their front yard and of course, she played with it; I mean, is it even possible to resist a puppy?
Anyway, coming back to the story, apparently it was their neighbor’s puppy and they accused the kid of stealing it. The dad decided that this deserved a massive punishment and asked her to do extra chores, but she straightaway refused to do them and said that she had not stolen the puppy.
The neighbors also came and apologized for their blunder because it turned out that their son had lost the puppy when he took off its leash while on a walk. Even after knowing this, the father told OP that their daughter should be disciplined for not doing the chores, but the poster protested that she was right not to accept unearned punishment.
The egotistical dad claimed that she should listen to her father, however, OP put her foot down and stated that she would rather die than teach her daughter to accept mistreatment. Well, this didn’t go down well with her husband, ending things in an argument where he called her unreasonable.
When the poster vented online, Redditors were shocked by the father and said that he sounded like a big red flag, and found it baffling that he refused to lift the punishment even after she was proven innocent. Many people also pointed out that he completely ignored her even when she was explaining that she had not stolen the puppy, and it must’ve hurt her.
Image credits: Timur Weber / Pexels (not the actual photo)
To get expert insight, Bored Panda interviewed Anjali Abigail Vipparti, a teacher mentor at a non-profit organization, Enabling Leadership, who also works with kids. She said that nowadays, even as educators, they don't use the word “punishment”; they usually call the phenomenon “consequences”, and to the best of their abilities, they strive to give the students something that’s called a “logical consequence”.
“Actions have a consequence and we want the children of today who live in this world to learn that and we don’t have to punish them for them to learn about how every action is not empty. Discipline and learning can be taught to children without having to instill the fear of a person in it.”
“When a child learns that actions have consequences, they make wise decisions. If a child doesn’t repeat an action because of the fear of a person, this means that the moment that person is not around, they will do whatever they want. This prevents an individual from being intrinsically motivated about doing the right thing,” she added.
When we asked her to comment on this situation, Anjali Abigail expressed that in the case of this child, she is quite clear about the fact that the adults have made a mistake. The adults, our expert added, must take responsibility because it is going to teach her that making mistakes and taking responsibility is a good thing to do, and she will not be afraid the next time she makes a mistake.
If the adults don’t take responsibility, she’ll internalize that adults are always right and she’s wrong because she’s a child, explained Anjali Abigail, and stated that this will also enable a negative mindset towards peers or children when the kid herself is an adult.
When we asked her about the impact unfair discipline might have on children, she noted that it may create fear in the individual or a victim mentality, and they might think that that’s all they are capable of. She also emphasized that they might also think that they will be targeted even if they are not wrong and that’s how they will view the world as unfair.
While concluding the interview, Anjali Abigail advised, “If we want to raise children who are safe people, who care about others and who navigate this world with confidence rather than fear, we must set them up for victory by being firm and fair. We hold them accountable only where they are supposed to be and ask for their forgiveness when we're wrong.”
“As an adult, I'm modeling behavior to the children around me every day because they're always looking and learning from around them. So we must model behavior responsibly whenever we are around them,” she added.
What do you make of the story? Let us know your thoughts in the comments!
Netizens instantly jumped to the poster's side and said that the dad was a red flag for not believing his daughter and putting his ego above her innocence
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / Pexels (not the actual photo)
