Getting married to someone you love is one of the sweetest experiences. It is definitely a big decision to take, and both people need to be on the same page first. Sometimes, there can be a mismatch in expectations, with one partner wanting to get married desperately and the other one not wanting to take any step ahead.
This is something a woman realized after overhearing her fiancé of four years talking to his friends. He seemed to have no inclination to marry her despite their long engagement, and that broke her heart.
More info: Reddit
It’s cruel to string someone along with the promise of marriage, especially when you know it may never be on the cards at all
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The woman had wanted to get married to her fiancé for a while, but things got delayed because they became homeless, had a child, and also had to deal with the pandemic
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When the poster brought up their nuptials, her fiancé kept postponing the date and never discussed the topic again after that
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The lady later overheard him at her neighbor’s party agreeing with men who were calling marriage a “trap” and telling them that’s exactly why he had been dragging his feet on the issue
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The woman tried getting over what she overheard her partner saying, but since it hurt her so much, she returned her ring and made her peace with the fact that they’d not get married
The OP and her fiancé have been dating since they were both 22 years old. They've obviously been through a lot together during the pandemic, while facing homelessness, and even having a child. All of these circumstances had taken priority and so they had kept the idea of marriage on the backburner for a long time.
It’s not uncommon for folks to be engaged for a long time, and the average engagement length for U.S. couples is around 15 months. Some people choose to do this so that they have enough time to plan their wedding and also save up for it, which is a great idea. In this story, though, that doesn’t seem to be the case at all.
The poster’s fiancé kept postponing their plans and also never brought up the topic on his own. The woman got to know exactly why he was doing that when she overheard him discussing the topic with some guy friends.
The men were making it seem like marriage was a bad idea and were telling him not to go through with it. Although it might seem like “locker room talk” or a joke, some people really do fear marriage. In most cases, folks might experience slight anxiety or an aversion to the idea.
There are some people who have an intense phobia of commitment and might experience severe mental and physical symptoms due to even the thought of it. This could also be one of the reasons why the man said what he did and kept hesitating to even bring up the topic of marriage.
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Even though the woman tried her best to move past what she’d heard her partner say, she was extremely heartbroken. She eventually decided to give his ring back and end their engagement. Marriage was important to her, but she couldn’t keep getting her hopes up and waiting for him to change his mind. Even though she returned the ring, she decided not to end their relationship as they have a child together.
Rather than immediately giving up on their future marriage, the OP and her partner could have sat down and had an honest discussion about the topic. Experts state that sometimes people might just fear the idea of marriage but still want to remain committed to their partner. It’s important to truly understand the other person’s thought processes before taking any action.
Living together is also a valid option, and approximately 32% of couples prefer cohabitation over marriage. Instead of one person making that decision, both partners need to talk about it and find a compromise that works best for them. It might be difficult to do that at first, but it can save the relationship.
Nobody wants to feel like their partner has been stringing them along with false promises. Unfortunately for the OP, she found that out the hard way and then made an even tougher decision about her relationship. Hopefully, the couple is able to clear the air and find a solution, and if not, the woman probably deserves better!
What are your thoughts on this situation? Do you think she did the right thing by returning the ring but continuing to date the man?
People sympathized with the poster and had a lot of questions to ask about the state of her relationship now
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