Going out on dates with a new person can be a very fun experience, but it’s also a great opportunity to learn if they have any red flags. Sometimes, the smallest interactions can reveal how the other individual thinks and also signal whether the relationship is going to work.
This is what one young woman found out after her sixth date with a man, when he forced her to pay the bill as a “gold digger” test, even though she was in a financial crunch. She tried to explain her side of things, but the man just doubled down.
More info: Reddit
It might take a bunch of dates to figure out whether someone can truly be a good partner, or whether one should steer clear of them
Image credits: journey2 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she had gone on six dates with a man she met through an app, and that there seemed to be a huge wage gap between them
Image credits: prostock-studio / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Since the woman had been kicked out of her home by her mother and had to find a new place to live, she had told her date that she was struggling financially
Image credits: freepik / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Even though the poster was going through a tough time, the man asked her why she hadn’t paid for anything yet, and said he wanted to check if she was a gold digger
Image credits: SporadicEmoter
When the bill came, the poster paid for it, but also wondered whether it was a red flag that he had asked her to pay despite the major life changes she was going through
As the poster had mentioned, she had met her date on an app, and they had gone out six times. Obviously, there seemed to be a big age gap between them, as well as a significant wage gap. Since he was older than her, he often earned over $40k more than she did, which hadn’t really been a problem till then.
Although this financial disparity might not seem to be such a big issue, professionals share that it can sometimes cause insecurity or resentment in relationships. The person earning more might feel like they always have to cover the majority of the expenses, while the person making less may worry about not matching up.
The poster was also probably not earning a lot of money, since she had just finished university and was under the care of her mom. Unfortunately, that also changed when her mother suddenly kicked her out, and the OP was forced to scramble to find a new place and pay the deposit.
It can be incredibly tough for young folks to deal with situations like this where they don’t even have their parents' support. Family experts share that when kids are kicked out of the home, it can ruin their relationship with their guardians, break their trust in authority figures, and greatly impact their financial stability.
Image credits: Frolopiaton Palm / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Since the poster had just begun going out with the man and didn’t know him too well, she decided not to tell him too much about what was going on in her life. He just knew that she had to suddenly find a new place to stay, and that she was facing a tremendous amount of stress as a result of that.
Despite knowing a bit about what the OP was going through, the man questioned her about why she hadn’t paid any of the bills yet. He tried to make it seem like she was a gold digger and said that if she wasn’t, then she should pay for the date, even though she was going through a financial crisis.
In general, most folks can agree that whoever proposes the date idea should be the one paying the bill that time. Over time, though, men share that they would prefer that both people split the cost or cover their share, rather than one person having to pay each and every time.
Although the poster wasn’t against paying for the date, she felt that the man was being inconsiderate of her struggles. She also didn’t tell him that she had already bought tickets to a jazz event that she was planning on taking him to. All of this made her reconsider dating him, which is why she asked netizens for advice.
Do you think it was reasonable for the man to ask the poster to cover the bill, or do you think it was a red flag? We’d love to hear what you think about this story.
Most folks sided with the woman and felt that the older man was quite immature and inconsiderate
