Every parent likely knows how wrong it is to play favorites with their children. Yet, some of them continue to do so in the most blatant ways, failing to realize the damaging impact of their actions.
This mother and father, however, took things to a whole new level. They continued to side with their golden child, who went to great lengths to sabotage her sibling’s career and personal life.
The less favored daughter had no choice but to take drastic measures, which ultimately led to the further deterioration of her relationship with her family.
Many parents play favorites with their children, while likely knowing how wrong it is
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
A mother and father continued to side with their golden child, who attempted to sabotage her sister's career and life
Image credits: cookie_studio/Freepik (not the actual photo)
The woman took extreme action out of necessity, which exacerbated the already chaotic situation
Image credits: AITA_jobbyaita
Parental favoritism has genetic and evolutionary roots
Reading this story may make you wonder how some parents could be this cruel to their children. It seems unreal on some levels. However, there’s a chance that these parents may be unconsciously playing favorites because they may have experienced the same biases growing up.
“Parents themselves may not always realize they are doing this, or sometimes simply feel justified in doing this,” licensed psychologist Dr. Sandra Wartski told Bored Panda. “Those who struggle with this blatantly may have their own emotional baggage or old wounds from their childhood.
Dr. Wartski noted findings revealing that around two-thirds of adults suspect there was a favorite child in their family, which suggests that it is, unfortunately, a common occurrence. She also noted that favoritism also occurs among animals, where the weakest baby bird is pushed out of the nest.
Image credits: Freepik (not the actual photo)
Psychotherapist Tina Gilbertson, who specializes in estrangement between parents and adult children, explained that parents may view their biased treatment of their children as a show of love that is equal but different. But regardless of their reasons, their actions are damaging, possibly for the long term.
“Most parents I've spoken with feel defensive around accusations of favoritism. And that can contribute to estrangement, unfortunately,” Gilbertson said.
Any child who endures parental favoritism is already in a tough spot. According to Dr. Wartski, the decision whether to build a bridge or walk away is not always black and white, which is why she recommends professional help.
Gilbertson did offer practical advice on how to navigate these tricky waters, starting by asking parents for what you want from them without overstepping boundaries. She suggests telling them how to treat your sibling(s), what exactly you need from them, and how you need them to change so that you can feel better about it.
“Requiring your parents to treat your sibling(s) differently is probably a dead end,” Gilbertson said. “Requesting that they treat YOU differently is reasonable and, if you're clear and specific in what you're asking, may actually lead to change.”
Unfortunately, the woman in the story was already in such a chaotic situation where her parents seemed to no longer care about her emotional needs. She may be better off distancing herself, if not cutting ties, for her own sake.
The woman responded to one commenter to further explain her actions
Most people sided with her, many of whom had choice words for her parents and sister
