Golf has long been known as a gentlemen’s sport, even more so than cricket. The game has its own etiquette pertaining to self-governance, care for the course, and common courtesy for other players. Golfers who can’t follow the rules will find themselves struggling to find people to play with.
For one newbie golfer, the idea of a polite round of golf went out the window after being verbally accosted by a couple playing on the same course. The man took to Reddit to recount his experience and ask for advice on how to deal with players who have no respect for the game.
More info: Reddit
Newbie golfer has his hair blown back by ranting couple on golf course
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
Couple claimed man and his golfing partner had cut in front of them
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
“I thought it was a joke at first because I've never seen two adults act like this before”
Image credits: Centre for Ageing Better (not the actual photo)
Ranting couple then changed their argument, claiming the man and his partner were taking too long
Image credits: Yolo_JesusSwag420
After speaking with the manager in the clubhouse, the poster found out that the couple were blacklisted from now, but still wasn't shy about giving them the finger to boot
It’s been said that manners maketh the man. If that’s true, what does a lack of manners create? One man found out when what had seemed like a friendly game of golf turned drastically sour. According to his post on r/golf, OP had paired up with a genial 75YO for a mid-week, middle-of-the-day round at a public course.
His retiree partner was easily getting the better of him when their idyllic game was suddenly turned on its head. While waiting at the 13th tee box for the group ahead of them to continue their game, the man and his partner were shocked when three other golfers approached them hurling abuse and claiming that OP and his partner had cut in.
Flabbergasted by their obnoxious behavior, OP took out his receipts and compared them with the rude couple’s, proving on the spot that he had started playing 35 minutes earlier than they had. This did nothing to change the attitude of the ranting couple however, who, according to OP, were, “at a 10/10, red faces, arms flailing.”
OP reports that, at this point, people were staring and phones were coming out. That’s when the couple changed their tune, accusing OP and his partner of taking too long to tee off, even though they’d been keeping up with the foursome in front of them, playing a robust 12 holes in a little over 2 hours.
Understandably ticked off, OP got the angry group’s collective attention, told them in no uncertain terms to get lost, teed off, and added that they’d discuss the mess in the club house after the game.
That’s when an employee at the course playing a round walked over to find out what was up. OP showed him his receipt by way of explanation, then walked off to his ball. He added that he could still see the couple ranting at the employee from the green.
After the round, OP spoke to the manager in the club house, who immediately blacklisted the offensive couple. Although he says it was not his proudest moment, OP also admitted to flipping them off while he was leaving, adding insult to injury. He then turned to Reddit to ask for tips on how to deal with uppity folk on the golf course.
Image credits: freepik (not the actual photo)
From the details shared in OP’s post, you could safely assume that the offending couple were more than a little arrogant, if not downright aggressive. In an environment where etiquette reigns supreme, they most definitely crossed the line.
In her blog on how to handle aggressive or confrontational people, Dr. Abby Medcalf says some specific reasons someone might act aggressively include:
- Low self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy and insecurity
- Fear of intimacy, so they push others away
- They feel misunderstood, frustrated, unheard, or mistreated
- To feel superior or to show dominance
- To compete and win or show others that they’re better
In his article for Psychology Today, author of “How to Communicate Effectively and Handle Difficult People”, Preston Ni, writes that most of us encounter confrontational and hostile people at some points in our lives. On the surface, they may come across as domineering, demanding, or even abusive. However, with an astute approach and assertive communication, you may turn aggression into cooperation, and coercion into respect.
Ni goes on to say that the reasons for unwarranted confrontational and hostile behavior are many and often complex. Causes may include and are not limited to pathological anger, hyper-aggression, pathological bullying, narcissistic rage, post-traumatic stress disorder, brain trauma, substance abuse, and life crisis.
He adds that in some cases it’s just a normal person having a bad day, while in others you may be dealing with a sociopath or psychopath. Regardless of the reason, it’s important to respond proactively and effectively when your rights, interests and safety are at stake.
Medcalf suggests a three-step process to deal with an aggressive person:
- Understand How It Affects You: First and foremost, you need to work on your own mindfulness in these situations and not allow yourself to be triggered.
- Find The Love: Practice compassion and try to find the love as you see the aggressive person as a scared child instead of a scary monster.
- Be Assertive: At its core, assertive communication comes from respect and compassion for yourself and the other person.
Bored Panda caught up with OP to get some extra insight into his story. When we asked him whether or not he was surprised to see his post get so much attention, he responded, "Absolutely I was surprised. I am a new golfer and hadn't really been in r/golf a long time so to throw a personal story out like that and get the reaction it did was pretty wild!"
When questioned on what urged him to share his experience with the Reddit community, he said, "Not sure. It was definitely the most interesting thing that had happened to me on a golf course thus far and I honestly wasn't sure what regular golfers would have done. Golf has all of these unwritten etiquette rules so to see people act so wildly on a course draws such a contrast to the traditional nature seen in such a place."
We asked OP for one piece of advice he'd give to some on in a similar situation and he had this to say, "Given anyone else is in a similar situation, just call the clubhouse explain the situation and ignore them. These types of people aren't just [jerks] on the course, they are [jerks] everywhere. That's their role in life. So feel sorry for them that that is who they were destined to be every day. That's enough to make me at peace and move on from the situation."
What do you think about the couple’s behavior on the golf course? Was OP within his rights to by happy that they were kicked out of the club? Let us know your opinion in the comments!
One of the top comments was, “You handled this perfectly, and yes, flipping them the bird is 100% appropriate”
