You aren’t the only one who stages arguments in the shower with shampoo bottles as your imaginary audience. Maybe you’re replaying a quarrel from years ago and hoping to come up with good comebacks compared to the ones you had at the time.
However, not all of us are blessed with a wit as sharp as a whip. We need some assistance to beat someone in the battle of words. You’ve come to the right place for that because we have a list of great hand-picked comebacks to use on every topic under the sun.
You’ll never have to repeat the mistake of standing there speechless when someone disses you; instead, you’ll have savage comebacks ready for use! With these quips, there will be nothing left for the listener to do but keep walking! These examples are just the tip of the iceberg; you must memorize them to prepare for anything.
How Do You Give a Comeback?
A comeback is a quick response to some critical comment made by another person. If you are looking to give good comebacks in an argument, there are specific steps you need to follow to have the upper hand.
- Be relaxed and avoid losing your temper. If you start getting angry, you will lose your nerves, and the other person will automatically have power over you.
- Don’t exaggerate and say something outrageous. Stick to the facts and pick on the truth because that will be more powerful.
- Speak clearly and avoid muttering or saying ‘um’ and ‘uh’ too much.
- Have other funny comebacks ready so you aren’t left speechless after their response.
- Use their words against them and make it a part of your following comebacks. For example, if they call you an idiot, you could say, ‘It takes one to know one.’
These simple steps can help you save face during an argument and win you the respect of your opponent.
Without further ado, check out these Shakespearean insults that’ll help you win and leave your opponent dumbfounded. Be sure to vote for the brutal comebacks you think might be helpful to you and share this article with your friends!
40 Good Roasts and Comebacks You Need to Try
#1
I don’t have the time or the crayons to explain this to you.
unknown
Report443points
#2
Somewhere out there, there’s a tree working very hard to produce oxygen so that you can breathe. I think you should go and apologize to it.
unknown
Report332points
#3
I’ll never forget the first time we met. But I’ll keep trying.
unknown
Report312points
#4
I am returning your nose. I found it in my business.
unknown
Report312points
#5
Your family tree must be a cactus ‘cause you’re all a bunch of pricks.
unknown
Report301points
#6
What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.
unknown
Report285points
#7
Remember when I asked for your opinion? Me neither.
unknown
Report281points
#8
The people who tolerate you on a daily basis are the real heroes.
unknown
Report258points
What Are The Best Comebacks for Haters?
If you’re faced with a hater who keeps making negative comments about you, it’s time to take action and stand up to them. Put them in their place and let them know they cannot treat you that way. Here’s how you can creatively use comebacks and insults for your haters:
- Tell them they are the last thing on your mind by saying, ‘Remind me, am I supposed to care?’
- Finish the conversation on a high note by saying, ‘I’m still waiting for you to say something interesting. Go ahead.’
- Before you leave, you can turn around and say, ‘Stay right there! You’re best from far away.’
You’ll probably see a look of shock or confusion on your hater’s face. Savor that look because you will see more of it if you use these savage comebacks.
#9
Stupidity isn’t a crime, so you’re free to go.
unknown
Report237points
#10
You are the human version of period cramps.
unknown
Report229points
#11
You’re the reason God created the middle finger.
unknown
Report217points
#12
Someday you’ll go far. I hope you stay there.
unknown
Report211points
#13
You are like a cloud. When you disappear it’s a beautiful day.
unknown
Report206points
#14
Don’t be ashamed of who you are. That’s your parent’s job.
unknown
Report201points
#15
It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.
unknown
Report190points
#16
I understand everything you said. I’m choosing to ignore you.
unknown
Report189points
What to Say if Someone Said ‘Shut Up’ to You?
Let’s say you’re talking to someone, and they suddenly tell you to shut up. It might be out of jest, or it might be during a fight. Regardless of the situation, it is nerve-wracking to come up with a response right away. That’s why there are two options you can take depending on the situation.
You can opt for clever, funny comebacks and be light-hearted or sarcastic. This will dissolve the tension and make it seem like you’re the bigger person. Or you can go down the savage route and say something explosive, earning you respect and maybe filling your bully with fear.
Here are the best comebacks to shut someone up:
Funny
- I will not be silenced!
- I have the right to remain silent but not the ability.
Insults
- I don’t remember ordering a glass of your opinion.
- Please lead by example.
#17
Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.
unknown
Report188points
#18
May both sides of your pillow be uncomfortably warm.
unknown
Report180points
#19
People like you are the reason I’m on medication.
unknown
Report180points
#20
Good story, but in what chapter do you shut up?
unknown
Report172points