It’s never too late to find love. Even if you’ve been divorced, have adult children and have retired from working for the rest of your life. We all deserve to share life with a loving partner!
But according to one woman’s adult children, dating is inappropriate when you aren’t technically divorced, even if you’ve been a single mother for decades. Below, you’ll find the full story of family drama that ensued when this grandmother finally revealed that she had been dating, as well as a conversation with dating expert Lisa Copeland.
This man’s grandmother finally decided to start dating after living separately from her husband for decades
Image credits: Yaroslav Shuraev (not the actual photo)
But instead of being happy about their mother’s new-found love, the woman’s children accused her of having an affair
Image credits: DC_Studio (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Fancy-Winter2122
Going through a divorce and re-entering the dating scene after the age of 50 is actually quite common
Going through a divorce can be a massive legal and emotional headache, so it's understandable why some couples put it off. In fact, one study from the American Sociological Association found that 15% of couples who separate stay that way indefinitely, without ever reconciling or divorcing. And while the divorce of their parents can be incredibly difficult for children to understand, whether they’re seven years old or 47, it’s important to remember that we’re never too old to find love. In fact, 25% of people in the United States who go through a divorce are over the age of 50, with over half of them being married for 20 years or more, so it’s quite common for parents to make this decision once their children have left the nest.
To gain more insight on the topic of dating later in life, we reached out to Lisa Copeland, a love and dating expert who exclusively works with women over the age of 50, who was kind enough to have a chat with Bored Panda. “When those who are ready and really feel alone and miss having their ‘it’ person decide, yes, I'm ready to date, then they do come out and date in their 50s, 60s, and 70s, and even in their 80s and older,” Lisa shared. “I only work with women in their 50s, 60s and 70s, but I remember seeing when my dad was at an independent living facility, people coupled up because they wanted that companionship.”
The dating expert says “it's very, very common” for women to seek new relationships later in life “because they miss the intimacy. They miss things like cooking together, being able to go to dinner together, or to just have fun with that male energy in their life.” And dating later in life can be tricky because, “when you're in high school, college, starting new jobs, there are lots of single people. The single base is bigger and it's more concentrated in one area [when you’re younger].” But Lisa says that people shouldn’t underestimate where they can find the “single base” later in life, because it can actually be anywhere.
Image credits: Katarzyna Grabowska (not the actual photo)
As challenging as it can be to accept, adults should be supportive of their parents finding new love
“You don't always know who is single,” she explained. “But I've had clients meet people at the license bureau. One client did it by just walking into the room and looking around, and she saw this man sitting by himself. She went and sat next to him; they ended up having a wonderful conversation. And they're married today. It's really talking to anyone you come in contact with. Don't worry if they're married, they're not married. Just get used to talking to men.”
Lisa also noted that some of the same issues that we have when we’re younger, such as struggling with self-confidence, can still impact daters when they’re older. “You don't feel as beautiful, even though you are. You feel like, ‘Oh my gosh, my body's changed so much. Who's going to love me?’” But the expert says she’s seen plenty of women in their 60s be contacted by younger men who think they're amazing. She also noted the example of Tina Turner, whose husband was 16 years younger than her but absolutely adored her until she passed. “You can have a man of any age,” Lisa says. “It's really about coming into this knowing of how amazing you are, where you are today, versus comparing yourself to when you're younger.”
While it can be challenging for adults to accept the idea of their parents beginning to date again, Lisa says it’s important for them to understand that if they can’t be there for their parents all the time, they should be supportive of their dating lives. “They should consider, ‘Gosh, I want my mom or my dad to be happy, and are they happy now? And do I wanna fill that role? Do I really wanna fill that role of their constant companion?’” Lisa notes, pointing out that it’s important to be around people who understand you and where you are in life. And often, that means being around others in the same age group. For anyone who’s having a hard time accepting their parents dating, Lisa suggests they ask themselves what's holding them back from seeing their parents happy and having fun.
Image credits: Gus Moretta (not the actual photo)
Dating later in life may be different than it was decades prior, but that doesn't mean older individuals deserve love any less
“As people fall in love, they start to light up. And I think the biggest for those kids to understand is that it doesn't take anything away from the parent they're no longer with, it's just an enhancement to their life,” the dating expert added. And according to Lisa, we’re never too old to find love. We just have to be open to it, and we have to get out of the mindset of “looking for our last person,” something Lisa says we all do, whether our partner has passed or we’ve lost them through a divorce.
“[Finding love] is being open to the idea of what's gonna make you happy today,” Lisa says. “We have a tendency to date like we did in our 20s, when the agenda was totally different. We were looking for someone to have babies with, whereas today it's a time in our life where we are pretty free and we want to have fun with someone and we want to play. [Find] someone that has your back and will support you.” If you’d like to hear more words of wisdom or gain some dating advice on your own love life from Lisa, be sure to visit her website Find a Quality Man right here.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. And then if you’re interested in reading another Bored Panda article featuring wholesome elderly couples who are head over heels for one another, we recommend checking out this piece next!
Many readers assured the man that he had done nothing wrong by defending his grandmother
Some, however, believed that all parties could have handled the situation differently
