Considering how much toxic behaviors at work are being called out online, you’d think the culture would be changing at this point. And while it might be the case that there’s progress, the battle is far from over.
A Redditor recently shared their unbearable work experience of having to deal with a toxic, narcissist boss who quickly changed his attitude once the employee started showing signs of quitting. It’s a bit too late for damage control there, buddy.
Toxicity at work is an issue that has received quite a bit of attention in hopes of change. But it’s still far from being resolved
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A woman started “gray-rocking” her boss who in turn started getting uneasy about it, in fear of the woman leaving the job
Image credits: Jonathan Borba / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: Yan Krukau / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: RDNE Stock project / pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: AdMysterious7891
Ironically, he often bashed the employee for being lazy, but he’s fearful of having no one who could do it at all
The story goes that Redditor u/AdMysterious7891 has been applying for jobs for some time now because her current one has become simply unbearable. Long story short, the boss is as toxic as they come: abusive, narcissistic, fosters a culture of gossip, backstabbing and the like.
Well, enough was enough for OP one day and she, sensing she’s going to have another job soon, started seriously gray-rocking. For the longest time, the boss was trashing the employee, saying she’s lazy and whatnot. But once he caught wind of what’s up, he seemed to grow fearful of it and changed his game 180 degrees. But we all know it’s a fake kind of nice.
Folks online were all pointing out that it’s no longer a toxic working environment—rather a hostile one. As such, it deserved a zero day notice. And, on top of that, some suggested plotting against the tattletale, rejecting exit interviews, not getting HR involved (mostly because of their past inactivity), and possibly spreading a rumor of not getting a job and then leaving.
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Bored Panda reached out to the Redditor for an interview. OP explained that the post was a way to vent their frustration with the whole situation to a community they knew doesn't tolerate toxicity at work.
"Were the [community's] insights helpful? I suppose they were; I learned that many people had gone through, or were going through, a similar situation, so it made me feel less alone," elaborated OP. "I also got a few comments accusing my story as being fake which, to me, also helped me realize that what I was going through was so bad, the people thought it sounded fake."
While OP doesn't have a job lined up just yet, they are supposed to hear back from one soon. And it's their last day on the job, so good things are coming! "Once the workday ends, I’m going to hand my key in to our HR rep, tell her I’m leaving, and never step foot here again. I do not plan on giving a two-week notice, nor do I plan on speaking to my boss at all."
As for the boss, OP doesn't have hope that he'll learn his lesson. Apparently, he's surrounded by yes-men all the time who will feed into his fantasies so that he thinks he's never at fault.
Lastly, we asked OP if they had any advice for those dealing with similar situations. And it was concise and spot-on: "Run, don’t walk."
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For context, gray-rocking is when folks minimize talking, give straightforward answers, and are emotionally absent
You can say it’s a method of sorts for dealing with people most would want to throw into an active volcano. Like toxic bosses. However, OP mentioned that the boss acts super narcissistic. And gray-rocking is actually often used against such behaviors.
You see, folks with things like narcissistic personality disorders feed on attention and thrive off it. By going the extreme disinterest route, the demand for attention is not fed and hence the narcissist often leaves the person alone. Consider it a certain kind of vampirism—once a victim is dry, they move on. And you can force yourself to be dry in this case.
There’s more to it, but essentially the idea behind the method is to stop emotional and other kinds of abuse. While there is no formal proof of whether it actually works, there is the theoretical chance of people using it as part of a detachment tactic, distancing themselves from the abusers and leaving them with less options for abuse.
And there’s always a risk involved. Gray-rocking a narcissist might elevate the situation and thus the aggression, it might exhaust the initiator as it requires a lot of energy and discipline, and it can thus take a toll on the person’s mental health. That’s why emotional self-care is key to balance the act out.
Whatever the case, we’d love to hear from you. What is your take here? Got some mischievous ideas of your own to one-up OP’s approach? Share your ideas and stories in the comment section below!
Many commenters pointed out that this calls for a zero-day notice and some petty revenge on the tattletale
