Overweight people know the struggle of listening to other folks constantly commenting on their weight or their size. It can be disheartening, especially if loved ones say such things and think it is okay to do so.
This is what one woman faced growing up because her parents and brother kept judging her because of her size. Her brother even went so far as to give her a weight loss recipe book, but she stored it for years and regifted it to him as a form of petty revenge after he gained a lot of weight.
More info: Reddit
Some people try their best to love their bodies, but that can be tough if the folks around them are always putting them down
Image credits: Evie Martinez / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The poster shared that she had always been overweight and that her parents kept judging her about it and making harsh comments
Image credits: katemangostar / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Since the woman’s brother grew up in such a toxic environment, he treated his sister the same way and gifted her a weight loss cookbook for her 16th birthday
Image credits: Maryia Plashchynskaya / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The poster never removed the book from its cover, stored it for years, and in the meantime, lost 50 kgs with the help of exercise and her partner’s support
Image credits: Petty_stitchingDM
She decided to regift the book to her brother because he had gained weight, but when he saw it, he pretended not to know where it had come from
The young woman had been bullied by her family members from a young age just because she was overweight. Rather than being kind to her and helping her find constructive ways of getting healthy, they chose to berate her and constantly obsess over her weight. Even her brother got into the habit of putting her down that way.
Regardless of who is engaging in the fat-shaming behavior, it can have a negative effect on young children. People may develop a lot of insecurities about their bodies and feel that they have to hide who they are. Parents who body-shame their kids often end up making them feel inadequate, ashamed, and embarrassed. It also negatively impacts their relationship with food.
To understand more about how one’s relationship with food can affect their self-esteem, Bored Panda reached out to Terri Pugh. She is a binge-eating recovery and body confidence coach. She conducts transformative workshops and coaches people to feel more comfortable and confident in their body, choices, and relationship with food.
Terri said: "I feel incredibly sad for this woman. It was very obviously a hurtful experience for her to be gifted that book and then have it followed up by negative comments. She's clearly held on to that for a very long time. It's a real example of how fat shaming, especially within families, can have such a lasting impact on someone's self-esteem and relationship with food.”
“The woman's decision to regift the cookbook years later for me shows the deep emotional scars that any weight-based bullying can leave, even when not intended to be bullying. Her act was one of reclaiming her power, but it also speaks to the pain she carried for years. Studies very clearly show that this takes effect from a very young age too.”
“Children who experience weight-based teasing are more likely to develop disordered eating patterns, low self-worth, and even depression, and engage in unhealthy weight-control behaviors, such as binge eating and restrictive dieting later in life. These experiences affect how a person sees themselves for years to come,” Terri explained.
The OP felt hurt when her younger brother gifted her a weight loss cookbook on her 16th birthday. She knew that he had grown up imbibing their parents’ toxic behavior, but she didn’t expect him to fat-shame her in that way. She decided to store the book and not open it at all.
Usually, people have the mistaken belief that pointing out someone’s weight might motivate them to get fitter. Studies have found that the opposite is true and that it can actually lead to higher levels of stress. When overweight people feel judged by others, they might engage in disordered eating as a way to cope with their negative feelings.
Image credits: Frank Holleman / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
The OP’s life improved significantly after she moved out of her parents’ house. She started working on herself and received a lot of support and care from her partner, which made a world of difference. This helped her to lose 50 kgs over time, which made her parents also stop their constant criticism.
Body positivity and acceptance is a lifelong journey that involves loving yourself as you are while also doing things to make yourself feel healthier and happier. It seems like the woman did just that and embraced exactly who she was, without giving in to the negative outside voices of the folks around her.
Terri Pugh shared that “creating a body positive environment at home is so important for giving young people the foundations for good self-esteem, so that they can go out into the world, and be confident, and then food doesn't become so much of a focus either. I'd love to see more families shifting the focus away from appearance and towards overall well-being.”
“This means not using weight-based comments, even those framed as 'concern,' and instead encouraging a balanced approach to food and movement. Positive reinforcement, such as praising children for their abilities and strengths rather than their looks. Creating a space where all body types are respected. Talking about food in a neutral manner, rather than 'good' or 'bad'.”
“Not talking about exercise in terms of burning off food. All of these sorts of changes will help children develop a healthy relationship with eating and build body confidence,” she added.
Despite the progress the poster made, it seems like she never forgot her brother’s rudeness. She kept the cookbook for years, probably waiting for the right opportunity for revenge. Eventually, when her brother gained a significant amount of weight, she decided to give him the same gift so that he’d finally understand her point of view.
It might seem like a great idea to get revenge on someone who purposely tried to put you down, but research says that this might not be as satisfying as we think. In fact, holding on to such difficult emotions or memories might only end up harming us in the long run.
Based on this story, Terri shared that her message would be “that instead of focusing on physical appearance, we should be creating spaces of kindness, self-acceptance, praise for the people's non-body-related abilities and achievements, and a culture where all bodies are valued."
Hopefully, the OP finally felt free from her family members’ expectations and no longer held on to the hurtful things they said to her. Do you think she handled this situation in the right way? Let us know your thoughts.
Folks were delighted by the woman’s petty revenge and were glad that her aunt stood by her side
