29 Times Men Slept With Married Women And Things Took Rather Unexpected Turns

While some marriages are completely healthy, with both parties happily involved in the relationship, sadly, not all are like this. This kind of toxicity might manifest in plenty of ways, from emotional closedness to infidelity. Today, we’re going to focus on the latter. 

As you likely already saw, this list is made up of stories coming from men who slept with women who were married, but to someone else. All of these confessions came from a Reddit thread that was popular enough a few months ago to get over 1K responses. All of these responses made us wonder – why do people cheat in relationships? So, we delved into this topic a little deeper.

Well, as with basically everything else in life, infidelity can also have a variety of causes. In fact, it can even be categorized based on whether it originates from the person themselves or the relationship they’re cheating on. 

The former category includes causes like dependence – whether it’s alcohol, other substances, gambling, or anything else. It can push the person to cross a line of fidelity, especially if it pushes them to a critical mental or physical state. Various mental disorders or other psychological problems can also influence a person to cheat. 

Childhood trauma and exposure to infidelity at a young age can play a part in adultery too, as it’s proven that people who experienced something like that tend to be cheaters more often than those who didn’t. 

Then, the relationship they’re cheating on can also carry some problems that lead them to make such a poor decision. As an example, we can take codependent relationships that can be a cause for unfaithfulness.

In an interview with Bored Panda, therapist Chenglu Ding at A Better Life Therapy, M.S.Ed., M.Phil.Ed., named several signs that signal that a relationship is codependent. 

For example, one of the involved parties constantly needs to put the other’s needs first. It can go so far as them becoming self-neglectful: “Over time, this imbalance can lead to emotional exhaustion, anxiety, or even depression. The person may also begin to feel quietly resentful, realizing they give so much but rarely feel seen, appreciated, or emotionally fulfilled.”

Lack of boundaries is another sign of such a relationship, which sometimes gets referred to as enmeshment – when people get so involved with each other that it’s excessive.

Fear of abandonment is a sign too. Codependency often lies in a fear of being alone, so a person starts clinging to the other just to avoid it, even if the relationship is unfulfilling or even harmful. 

M.S.Ed., M.Phil.Ed. Chenglu Ding didn’t forget to mention that low self-esteem is not only a sign but a root cause for such relationships as well: “Codependent relationship patterns are often rooted in low self-esteem and an intense need for external validation."

She added: "Many people who exhibit codependent behaviors struggle with feeling ‘not good enough’ internally, so they look to their partner and the relationship to define their worth.”

So, as you can see, codependent relationships are far from healthy. And the thing about a toxic relationship is that it wears a person out. As our interviewee pointed out, over time, a person in a codependent relationship can start feeling overly anxious, depressed, or even angry towards their partner.  

So, in some cases, such feelings can manifest in infidelity, whether it’s to break free from the toxic dynamic, to look for their own identity outside of the relationship, or even a way to hurt their partner. Of course, not every such relationship ends with unfaithfulness, but some might.

And codependency is only the tip of the iceberg when it comes to problems within relationships that cause infidelity. We just wanted to shine a light on this one, since due to its essence, some might think it’s safe from such an act – but it’s not. 

Granted, we don’t justify cheating in any form – even if a relationship you are in is unhealthy, there are other ways to find a way out, more moral ones. But, well, people wouldn’t be people if they didn’t push moral boundaries, would they?