Losing a person close to you is never a fun thing, especially when it’s too early for them to go. Moments like these are the hardest, and they’re exactly when we need all of the support that we can get.
However, some people would rather take care of their own ego first than be there for the ones in need. For example, one Redditor shared how, when her mom was sick with cancer, her dad was never around. When the mom passed, and he quickly moved in with his new wife and child, the girl found out that the dad was out cheating the whole time when she and her mom needed him the most. Needless to say, she was not very happy about it. Scroll down to read the full story!
More info: Reddit
Some people promise to be there for their partner in sickness and in health but bail the moment real sickness shows up at the doorstep
Image credits: Alex Green (not the actual photo)
A teen lived with her dad, who had his new wife and their child move in soon after the girl's mom passed away from cancer she had battled for 3 years
Image credits: Thirdman (not the actual photo)
The woman came into the home as if she had lived there for years, trying to order things around and wanting to get rid of the mother's old things that the girl didn't want to let go of yet
Image credits: Dominika Roseclay (not the actual photo)
After learning about the trip that the teen had planned with her mom but now was supposed to go on with her aunt, the stepmom decided to take over the planning
Image credits: Anastasiya Gepp (not the actual photo)
She said that she should go with the girl instead of her aunt, as it would be a great opportunity for them to bond since she's her new mom, and the dad supported her
Image credits: Exact_Passenger_8819
The girl lost it and told her that she wanted nothing to do with her or her affair baby, and she also bashed her dad for cheating on her mother while she was sick
The 17-year-old OP’s mom passed away after battling cancer for 3 years when the daughter was 16, and she now lives with her dad. The parents were in the process of getting a divorce, but the girl was never aware of the reasons for it.
It didn’t take long after the poster’s mom was gone for the dad to get his new girlfriend and her 5-year-old son to move in. They soon got married, and the woman was already trying to run the place as if she had lived there for years by attempting to get rid of the late mom’s stuff, which didn’t sit well with the teen.
The girl didn’t want to let go of her mom’s things just yet, but there was more than just nostalgia in there. When digging through all of it, she found evidence that her mother hired a private investigator, who discovered that the father had been cheating for almost 6 years, and his new wife’s child was also his own.
The woman was also trying to force a bond with the girl, even trying to take over the trip that the teen planned with her mom before passing. She was now supposed to go on it with her aunt, but when the dad’s wife said that she should go with (instead of the aunt), the girl snapped and told her that she wanted nothing to do with her or their affair baby.
Hearing this, the father was upset, so she let it rip on him, too. She told him that his new wife, who is a 25-year-old while he’s 46, is young enough to be her sister. She also bashed him for doing this to her mom while she was battling cancer. He blew right back at her, ordering her to take her stepmother on the trip, but the girl stood her ground.
The commenters were very supportive of the OP, expressing their condolences for her mother and berating her dad as well as his wife. They also shared advice in regards to ensuring that her plans for the trip couldn’t be disrupted and that her mother’s things would not be thrown away while she was gone.
Image credits: Sora Shimazaki (not the actual photo)
Cheating on your terminally ill spouse, as the poster’s father did, seems like a horrible thing to do. But, as Jeanna Bryner of NBC News wrote, it turns out that it is actually a lot more common than people might think.
A study looking at relationships where one of the partners had cancer or multiple sclerosis discovered that roughly 12% of these marriages end in divorce, making for a pretty normal number. However, the more shocking part was that while only 3% of women leave their sick partners, almost 21% of men don’t hesitate to walk out when the situation is reversed.
The researchers theorized that a good part of it is self-preservation. Women usually find it easier to assume the responsibility of caregivers, while men, on the other hand, tend to feel less codependent and will more often choose to take care of themselves first.
Yet, according to the same research, staying together can actually boost the chance of the person beating the illness. Patients who don’t get divorced have a much lower hospitalization rate and are more likely to participate in clinical trials, complete their treatment regimens, and seek alternative treatments.
Of course, being a caregiver in a situation like this is very difficult, too. Nothing anyone says or does could make this an easy process, but, as PsychCentral shared, there are some things that we can do to try and make it just a little bit better:
- Learn to live in the moment and enjoy what you still have.
- Find acceptance for the situation and cherish the good moments from the past.
- Figure out your choices and decide what you plan to do.
- Allow people close to you to help, but remember to set boundaries.
- Remember that grieving is normal, so let yourself do it.
- Don’t let go of hope, as you never know how things might turn out.
In the end, having a person close to you be diagnosed with a terminal illness can be absolutely life-changing. But it is in crises like these that people usually show their true faces, and sometimes, like the OP’s father’s, the face they’re hiding is not the prettiest.
What did you think about this story? How would you act if you learned that your loved one has such a diagnosis? Share your thoughts in the comments below!
The commenters supported the poster, giving her advice on how to make sure they don't hold her back from going on the trip or don't throw away her mom's stuff while she's away
