Someone very wise once said that the best way to lose a true friend is to lend them money. And this is in fact absolutely true. However, history clearly proves to us that this is also a surefire way to destroy family ties. Almost any ties, in fact.
Need some examples? Then voila - here's the story from user u/sweetness_petiteness, who has been financially supporting her older sister for years - until she turned on her cynic mode and completely ruined their relationship. However, let's not get ahead of ourselves here.
More info: Reddit
The author of the post is 32 years old now, and she has an elder sister with whom she's been very close since their very childhood
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
The author is quite well-off, so she used to help her sis financially - like 10 years ago, when she paid off her credit card debt
Image credits: sweetness_petiteness
Image credits: Kaboompics.com / Pexels (not the actual photo)
However, recently, the sister unexpectedly admitted that the author was just "an idiot" for giving her the money
Image credits: sweetness_petiteness
Image credits: Liza Summer / Pexels (not the actual photo)
Our heroine decided to quit any help since then - but couldn't help offering her money again when the sis got into trouble with paying her rent
Image credits: sweetness_petiteness
The sis refused to "accept the money," but then changed her mind - only to face the author's refusal this time
So, the Original Poster (OP) is now 32 years old, she has at least two sisters, and she has always been very close with the eldest (she is 34 at the moment)—literally since their childhood. However, adulthood has made its own adjustments - and now our heroine helps the sis. For example, about ten years ago, when she was on the verge of bankruptcy, the OP paid off her hefty credit card debts.
It just so happened that the author has always been good with finances, but the sister is usually unlucky in this regard. So recently, when going to visit their younger sis, the OP paid for literally everything for the elder one - tickets, accommodations, car rental, and whatnot. On the way, they got to talking about money, and when our heroine mentioned her sister's gratitude for her constant help, a real cold shower awaited her.
The sister sarcastically stated that the OP was just an "idiot" for paying her debts, and that it would have been a sin not to take advantage of this help. Well, since then, the author has vowed not to help the sister... but a little time passed - she again had problems with paying her rent, and guess what the original poster did?
That's right - she offered her help again! The sis, however, refused. But not for long - a couple of days later she called back and "agreed to accept the money," but this time, the author had already said flat-out, "No." And now, the sister is slandering and scolding her in every possible way, claiming that because of the author, she's now in danger of getting evicted. And the OP decided, just in case, to seek support from people online.
Image credits: Frank van Hulst / Unsplash (not the actual photo)
"Many people actually openly overuse the trust and good attitude of their friends and relatives - and manipulate them to get what they want. For example, money, as was the case in this situation," says Irina Matveeva, a psychologist and certified NLP specialist, with whom Bored Panda got in touch for a comment about this particular case.
"It seems to me that the older sister feels some shame about the current situation in any case, and masks this shame behind feigned cynicism. In any case, I'm not sure that constantly helping an adult with money was the 100% right decision. But sooner or later, this has to stop.
"Overall, this woman did the right thing - although she was probably years late with this decision. Perhaps they should meet and talk again so that the sister understands that she is wrong, and why exactly she is wrong. On the other hand, if there is another attempt at manipulation, then going no contact is probably the only reasonable option left," Irina summarizes.
As for the people in the comments, they simply didn't hide their indignation over the elder sister's behavior, and, of course, completely sided with the original poster. According to the responders, if the sister doesn't want any help, then there's no need to help, and that's all. "Time for her to sink or swim," someone concluded quite wisely. So do you, our dear readers, also agree with this?
People in the comments sided with the author unanimously, claiming that going no contact wass probably the wisest idea
