Having a newborn inevitably means less sleep and lots more to do, unless you have help. And if you're already parenting an older child, it can push you to breaking point. When one woman split from the father of her second child soon after giving birth, she found herself unable to cope with the demands of motherhood and life.
The new mom turned to the dad of her first child to help carry the load, but his current wife is less than impressed. She doesn't understand why her husband's ex is making her new baby (with another man) their problem. She’s considering asking her husband to stop assisting, but is wondering whether she’s being unreasonable. The wife has turned to the internet for advice.
Adjusting to life with a new baby can be exhausting, especially if you're doing it alone
Image credits: stocky01 / Freepik (not the actual photo)
When one woman broke up with the father of her newborn, she called another ex to help, much to the dismay of his wife
Image credits: shurkin_son / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Image credits: purplejeansandbiscoff
There are options for single moms who find themselves unable to cope with all that life throws at them
I think we can agree that it can't be easy juggling a new baby, an older child, daily chores, and life in general all by yourself.
"It's like hiking the Appalachian Trail with a heavy backpack," says Amelia Shaw, a mom of two young daughters. "The backpack has your essential stuff in it and weighs you down sometimes. When you take it off (say, by hiring a babysitter), for the first half hour you feel light and free. And then your body starts to crave that weight, and you feel anxious until you can put it back on."
Trying to heal from birth and a break-up while doing everything else could get particularly overwhelming. But there are options available if you need help.
Instead of constantly making trips to the store for essentials like diapers, wipes and formula, consider buying these things in bulk. That means you'll have less chance of running out of them, and you'll save yourself some time and stress. The same goes for meal prepping and making dinners in advance. Don't beat yourself up if you buy a few frozen meals to avoid having to cook.
Image credits: alexgrash / Freepik (not the actual photo)
Find out if there's a lift club to or from school for your older child, and if so, consider making use of it. While you're at it, why not reach out to a few of your child's friends' parents to set up play dates, or even just ask for support?
If you can afford it, a nanny or even an overnight newborn specialist might be a good choice. They’ll be able to step in when needed so that you can get some much-needed sleep.
According to “What To Expect”, these professionals don’t come cheap: anywhere from $160 to $360 a night, or $20 to $45 per hour, depending on various factors like your location, their credentials and experience, and how many babies you have. But they're apparently worth every penny.
“A newborn specialist can be a godsend, especially if you plan to bottle-feed exclusively or in addition to breastfeeding,” notes the site. “She will give your baby expressed milk or formula for at least one of the feedings each night, allowing you to get some extra shut-eye. She can also get a fussy baby to sleep, change diapers and otherwise make your life easier…”
Most importantly, don't suffer in silence. And don't be scared to ask for help. Friends and family might be more understanding and willing than you think. There are many support groups for single moms. You are not alone. But if you find yourself buckling under the pressure, and your mental health is at risk, please seek professional help from a qualified therapist.
The woman provided some more info in the comments
Many felt the wife shouldn't have to buy nappies and groceries, and advised her to only help with "reasonable" requests
"Put your compassionate hat on and suck it up": some felt the woman was being unreasonable
