I have known @that_gay_snake(he/they), I'll call him Riley (fake name), irl our whole lives. Over the summer, we had to see each other a lot, and now we're going to the same school.
School's been in for a few weeks at this point. Riley follows me everywhere he can. It's been building up for a while but got worse over the summer, and is getting worse still at school. He follows me, talks to me nonstop about the same things, ESPECIALLY Taylor Swift who he knows I'm sick of. He sings the same songs all the time. (Unholy, anything TS, etc.)
I've told him many times to stop and to leave me alone but he never does. If I try to go somewhere with my friends, he follows me. We tell him to go away but he follows us anyways. He says my name at least 20 times per day. That's not even an exaggeration, he says it nonstop.
I like someone in my friend group, and told Riley about it. He told everyone we know, including the person I like.
Something very upsetting happened to me Sunday (unrelated). I told him, and the only thing he would say was that I was stupid. I was physically shaking, telling him something traumatic, and all he did was insult me.
Yesterday, Riley wouldn't stop following me and annoying me on purpose, even after I told him to leave me alone several times. I saw his crush,"Brandon," who I consider an acquaintance. At this point, Riley was really pissing me off. I grabbed his wrist and said I wanted to say hi to Brandon. He pulled back with all his body weight, so I had to physically drag him on the floor to move anywhere. Once Brandon turned around and looked at us, I said hi and walked back to our friends.
Riley says I humiliated him and that I'm always insulting him and stuff, which is true, but as I explained to him, that's because I just want him to leave.
Riley says that I'm not considering HIS emotions, despite the fact that I apologized several times and he didn't apologize at all.
I know I was wrong for lashing out and embarrassing him but he's claiming that he has done nothing wrong. I'm trying to talk to him to explain my side of things but he refuses to listen to what I have to say.
Now I'm running on barely any sleep, a bunch of late homework, home trouble, anxiety, a long list of to-do's, and half a cup of coffee. I'm supposed to be doing school work but I can't because of all of this. He's still following my friends so I can't even talk to them and I'm fairly certain he's telling them his side of things. Regardless, I can't see his face right now so I can't be with my friends, but I desperately need someone to talk to, so it seems like I'm just stuck.
Riley's claims so far: he never told anyone who I like (he did so in front of me), everything from the second paragraph is him "being a good friend", I humiliated him in front of his crush (which I admit to, but if he had just walked with me instead of pulling me back towards the table, it wouldn't have been embarrassing), I'm not listening to his feelings (I am and have apologized multiple times, I insult him nonstop (to get him to stop following me, which he still refuses to do), and I think that's it?
My claims: Riley needs to leave me alone, stop insulting me when I'm trying to tell him something that's upsetting me a lot, stop spreading rumors about me, stop exposing my crush to them and all our friends, and at least listen to my perspective. If he respects my boundaries, I can better stay calm and not lash out. I know it was wrong to embarrass him and I regret it but at the same time I only just lashed out after MONTHS of him not respecting my boundaries.
Pandas, AITA for embarrassing him in front of his crush?
If "Riley" sees this, feel free to tell your side.
When there's an update or if I remember something I forgot to say, I'll make a post.
#1
This is some funy sh*t
1point
#2
Update: We still haven't addressed any of this but we made up
1point
#3
I do have a couple of questions, but before that, you need to know that you are NTA. You told Riley several times to leave you alone and he wouldn't listen. He has no respect for you, and boundaries in general. He seems exhausting and,cruel, maybe a bit predatory. F**k him! I've gone through a similar experience. Actually, I'm sure most women have had to deal with men not listening and respecting boundaries. Good for you for standing up for yourself! That being said, while dragging his stupid a** on the floor made me laugh, and make me think you are a badass, I'd advise against that in the future. He deserved it, but based on his behavior, that's something that could escalate quickly and could be dangerous.
Couple of questions though. What about your friends? What do they do when he's around? Is he part of your group? Is he trying to be friends, or does he have a crush on you? Also, have you told your school, or a guardian about what Riley has been doing? You should! Riley has alot of red flags. He concerns me. But DO NOT STOP STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF! I hope everything works out.
Couple of questions though. What about your friends? What do they do when he's around? Is he part of your group? Is he trying to be friends, or does he have a crush on you? Also, have you told your school, or a guardian about what Riley has been doing? You should! Riley has alot of red flags. He concerns me. But DO NOT STOP STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF! I hope everything works out.
1point