Hey Pandas, AITA For Ignoring My Mother?

I understand why you are so angry. She had no right to try getting inside your devices and least to reset them. As a gamer I can understand how hard that is.

But ignoring people is usually not a good idea. It creates more problems but it does not solve them. It is tempting to do so and if you do it until you cool down it can help. But not for days.

I would try to talk to your mum. Aknowledge that you shouldnt have been late with your homework (admiting guilt is a good step to get others to open up). But tell her that you dont think that she should have done that. That it hurt you. That invading your privacy is not the way to go and that punishing you by deleting your files was really risky. You could have had things from school there or important things (she wont understand the games I wouldnt mention it).

If you keep your calm and your mother is a reasonable person she should listen to you. (Not that all parents are reasonable)

I wish you the best

Try talking to her about it, ignoring her won’t solve anything and it might even make it worse. Maybe tell her that you promise to work harder she will understand. If it’s hard for you to complete schoolwork then that’s ok too just explain to her why and she will understand hopefully

I had something similar, so I completely understand how it feels to lose literally your entire life in your devices. But what’s done is done, you can’t change that. Instead of focusing on it, move forward and work so it doesn’t happen again. Talk to her and explain your side and listen to hers, and develop a plan together. The biggest problem is not understanding each other’s perspectives. She can’t see how much all of that meant to you, and you can’t see how important schoolwork is. Compromise.

I wonder if missing and late work is an ongoing problem for you? If yes, I think your mom is probably at her wits end trying to make you be responsible. I have a son that was like that. He grew up to be just fine though haha. If this is a first offense, maybe that was a bit harsh though. Either way, don’t ignore her. Even if in the grand scheme she was wrong I’m sure she was doing her best to grow you up right :)

1. Were the devices ones that you purchased, or were they gifts? (I ask because if they were devices your mother bought for you, she may have decided she had the right to get into them/reset them, especially if you're legally a minor)

2. Why weren't you getting your schoolwork done? Is it because you were spending time on the mobile games instead?

I don't think YTA here - I don't think your mom's the A, either.

I'm coming at this from the perspective of a parent of a teenager who has struggled with screen addiction - they have in the past had situations like yours where they basically didn't do ANY schoolwork for weeks and weeks because they were spending time watching videos and playing games. They figured out the passcodes on several of the family's devices, and would sneak out of their room at night to have more screen time. Once they even bricked their phone while trying to get around restrictions.

I think what I'm asking here is take a look within yourself to see if any of what my teen has gone through resonates with you - and if you feel that you may be struggling with a lack of self-control when it comes to compulsive screen use, ask for help.

Your mom loves you.

Also, I game too, and it would PISS ME OFF to lose progress on a couple of my favorites! So I feel your pain. :D

Just wondering what brand the phone/tablet is/are. Depending on the brand/software and if you had accounts you may be able to get most things back

Time to learn lessons in responsibility, time management, and backing up your devices.

Nta, but try and get your grades under control.
Also how did she factory reset if she couldn't even get in the phone due to passwords...

nta

You need to explain yourself.

Yes, ignoring her will give you satisfaction, but she will just be mad, and that could result in more things happening.

You need to tell her why you are mad. She will hopefully understand.

(Don't expect her to give you your tech back.)

Bro, NTA at all. Both of you have the right to be mad but trying to get into YOUR phone is kinda far. Let alone “hacking” your phone. Taking the electronics is a fair punishment and that is enough. NTA. But please still be respectful, after all. She is your mother.

NTA. Your mum was in the wrong for resetting your devices and trying to invade your privacy.
But, life is short. Never go to sleep on an argument because you'd never forgive yourself if something happened to your mum and the last thing you did was argue or give her the silent treatment. Talk it out. Tell her how you feel, be calm, don't react if she tries to engage in a fight. Write down what you want to say first.

Confiscation - fine, it’s called being a parent. You were supposed to be doing school work and instead wasted time on games.

Factory reset was OTT, and excessively controlling. There are deeper issues here. See a therapist. Seethe same therapist together. Her reasons will come out whether she likes it or not.