So, my entire family, both immediate and extended, is extremely homophobic, and I'm pansexual and questioning my gender. I haven't told anyone, although I've hinted to one friend who I know is supportive of LGBTQIA+, but haven't actually said anything. I'm a minor and live in the U.S. Does anyone have any advice for me?
#1
I came out 7 years after knowing, I'm non-binary and pansexual. I am also a minor, and live in U.S. I would say tell your closest friends that are allies or part of the community, My dads side of the family is also very homophobic but I found one person who found out and didn't care, trust your instinct whenever the time is necessary.
3points
#2
If you don't think u would be 100% safe, physically or mentally I'd wait until u have left. Don't feel the need to come out if ur family wouldn't accept u. There's no rush
3points
#3
My sister never did and it breaks my heart!. You are perfect, who you are is perfect and there will be someone in your family who will support you. Can you speak to a teacher or counsellor?
2points
#4
It’s sad that people feel they need to ‘come out’. Sexual orientation shouldn’t matter. No one comes out as a heterosexual so why homosexual? You have no obligation at all to come out. But I obviously understand the stigma around the subject due to social stupid norms.
2points
#5
It’s sad you have to ‘come out’. Your sexuality is no one’s business including your families. Shame people can’t just love us for whoever the hell we are!!!!
2points
#6
Oh! My heart just broke, so my 21 year old son is the most amazing kid ever, he happens to be gay but that doesn’t define him, he came out 3 days before his 14th birthday over text, while I was in my room 10 feet away. Is there absolutely no one who you think may understand? You would be surprised how many people would prefer YOU and accept you. My son’s father was awful to him, which caused my divorce and my son not speaking to him again. You need to realize you need to surround yourself with love, as terrifying this is you need to be yourself and I know hun this may cause so much pain and hurt but that is on those who would not accept this. It just shows ignorance and maybe fear? I don’t understand homophobia, but chances are if you throw out that fishing line someone might bite. I was my son’s cheerleader and even the older generation of my family finally saw it’s just a small fact of the person he is
2points
#7
My advice would be to make yourself mentally aware that you are probably not going to change their convictions just because it's about you as a family member. Consequently, do not do it unless you are in a situation where you're prepared to cut contact to them entirely if necessary.
2points
#8
As a trans gay boy who has a genderfluid friend with incredibly homo/transphobic parents, don't. Keep yourself safe. I know how horrible and hard it is to be in the closet, especially as a trans person, but your safety- mental and physical- is so much more important. You're going to be okay. If you absolutely need to come out or you're just gonna do it anyways, start being openly supportive first- do it slowly. Disagree about the more extremely trans/homophobic things they say. Eventually start sending them websites or articles about why it's okay to be queer. If they seem to warm up to jt, say that you're questioning your sexuality or gender. If they don't react horrible, tell them in a while. This can take years. Be patient and keep yourself safe, please. We care about you and you're going to be able to get out one day. Good luck
1point
#9
Oh! My heart just broke, so my 21 year old son is the most amazing kid ever, he happens to be gay but that doesn’t define him, he came out 3 days before his 14th birthday over text, while I was in my room 10 feet away. Is there absolutely no one who you think may understand? You would be surprised how many people would prefer YOU and accept you. My son’s father was awful to him, which caused my divorce and my son not speaking to him again. You need to realize you need to surround yourself with love, as terrifying this is you need to be yourself and I know hun this may cause so much pain and hurt but that is on those who would not accept this. It just shows ignorance and maybe fear? I don’t understand homophobia, but chances are if you throw out that fishing line someone might bite. I was my son’s cheerleader and even the older generation of my family finally saw it’s just a small fact of the person he is
1point