Hey Pandas, Do The Florida Man Birthday Challenge (Closed)

The top 3 results:
Florida man wearing gloves steals all the chicken wings at 7-Eleven, officials say.
Florida Man Screaming About Vampires Allegedly Sets Fire In His Own House.
Florida Man Arrested After Officers Watch Theft of Car on His Instagram Feed.

I've never done this before so here it goes...
Florida man caught trying to eat stolen debit card
Florida man standing naked in his driveway, throwing rocks at passing cars
Florida man throws chair at child over a fight about donuts

I feel like I'm going to give myself a heart attack if I read any farther....

Florida man set store on fire during protest, florida man with no hands stabbed tourist, and florida man caught hiding with bags of drugs.

Flordia man arrested for giving girlfriend a wet w***y.

Florida man arrested for having sex with miniature horse on multiple occasions, deputies say

Florida man with half a head arrested for attempted murder and arson.

Florida Man Allegedly Stole Pool Floats From Homes to ‘Stop Himself From Raping Women'
Florida man faked his murder using a gun and a weather balloon
Florida man indicted in fatal dog poop fight

Florida man arrested after fit of rage when Checkers ran out of lettuce. Florida man put semen is coworkers water. I think I won.

Florida man accused of... self-pleasure in the Walmart toy aisle
Florida man robs gas station while wearing a drawn-on goatte
Florida man killed in-laws then ordered pizza?-
I think I’m the winner

First thing that appeared in the same year and day, Florida man was sending death threats and damaging their coworker’s computer

2nd one in same year was a Florida man that got a death sentence because he thought a guy with an Alabama hat was the antichrist

First one regardless of year is “Florida man tells his neighbors he’s going to kill them with kindness then tries to kill them with a machete he named kindness” on the ifunny website

Florida man calls 911 to ask for booze

Florida man punches fast-food employee.

Florida Man's murder was really an elaborate suicide with a balloon...
July 17th if you were wondering...

A Clearwater, Florida resident embarked on a bold strategy after MPs discovered syringes in his r****m when he was incarcerated in Pinellas County Jail.

He simply told the deputies that they were not his.

1. Florida man accused of using Kool-Aid packets to steal nearly $1K in Walmart merchandise
2. Florida man accused of cutting off p*nis of ex-girlfriend’s boyfriend

Also, not my birthday, but I have a HILARIOUS one for November 3rd. Florida Man Loses Presidential Election.

Florida man arrested after fit of rage when Checkers ran out of lettuce. Florida man put semen is coworkers water. I think I won.

Florida man with machete tattoo accused of machete attack.

The Florida resident has a solution to deal with Hurricane Dorian – ancient ice

Florida man dumps dirt on girlfriends borrow car