Hey Pandas, Do You Have A Question That Needs Answering? (Closed)

What TF am I doing here? (Survived a suicide a year ago and have been eating and looking at sheep, among other things, but why am I still here?!)

I'll start. I'm trying to knit a herringbone stitch and I can't seem to get the tension correct. I start out ok but by the second row it seems too tight and it's harder to get the needle through. My c/o is pretty loose and I've gone up in needle size, but no matter what I try, I'm not getting it. Any and all advice desperately wanted. I've been at this for two days and I'm ready to stab these needles through my frazzled brain. (And yes, I've tried the internet, but I'm new to this and maybe wording my questions wrong).

Why does anything exist? And what causes inertia?

My colleague is currently off because her mum is in hospital. I've been told by another colleague whom they are close with, her mum is not likely to make it. I've told her to take as much time as she needs and that we won't be deducting her pay in any way.
My other colleagues are a little concerned about my behaviour when she returns to work because they know I don't care.
She is a great member of staff and I think the right thing to do is to be supportive, but I don't actually know how. And it would be a bit shite if she left the company just because I couldn't give the right perception.

How do I know whether I like like someone or if I just really care about them as a friend? I can't tell anymore.

How to find someone to talk to when my friends ghost me and im paranoid that they are lying to me? also, 12 year old me wants to know how to confess to a crush when they have pranked/joked that they liked you

Why can't I stop thinking? My thoughts are like a never-ending roller coaster ride that makes life incredibly difficult and complicated.

How do I start to love myself?