Hey Pandas, How Are You Lately? (Closed)

Still living despite not being capable of feeling happy.

I’m so close to releasing. like sitting at the edge of a cliff. i don’t want to hurt myself again but at the same time i crave it. i’m supposed to be okay. I was getting better.

I had a bad 5 hours today. I went to the mall with my family to get a birthday gift for my friend and my dad was arguing with my mum constantly. We later went to do some window shopping and I started unintentionally talking in a high volume as I usually do when I’m excited so my mom told me to be quiet which I did but then my dad started shouting as a way to mock me. I started tearing up while he continued to mock me and lecture me about “believing I’m superior to everyone “ because of my reaction. Everything he said was about me being a villain and how he “went down to my level” to teach me a lesson. He sort of apologised and took me out for ice cream but subtly told us about how he’s the victim and we’re the bullies. I wonder if I really am the villain in life and I’m not sure about anything anymore. I don’t believe that happiness is a real thing anymore. Every time I feel happy, something always happens that makes me even more depressed. I think that I should stop doing things that make me happy if it’ll prevent more bad things from happening

Barely eating anything. So in that sense I’m doing bad. I’m currently suffering from anorexia and that’s the reason why I don’t eat anything.

I just want to see how you are.

Eh..

Not great. Anxiety on a rise and I think everyone hates me but I don’t want to talk about it because they probably have problems of their own and don’t need mine.

Sorry for burdening whoever is reading this

ya know that good friend we all have named boredom, boredoms back and i bored i need stuff to do but bp has nothing to do