Hey Pandas, how do I gradually distance myself from a friend I usually talk to often, but am reducing the time spent with them for personal reasons?
She has always loved to be around me but she has started making romantic advances that I am not comfortable with, I have talked to her about this and she seemed to understand... until she didn't and she keeps going after me, I am also a girl and strictly only into men and not willing to change that
#1
Aw jeez, this is a tough situation you’re in.
I think you should talk to her again and make it VERY clear that her continued advancements are inappropriate and that you’re not gonna put up with them anymore. She can either take the L and deal with the rejection, or hit the road.
Of course, it would help to phrase this in a kind but FIRM way.
But seriously, especially because you’re asking how to full on get distance, you should get away from this girl. Ignoring rejection is a red flag.
But, if I were her, I would at least like closure if my friend stopped talking to me. Which is why you should have that talk and give the ultimatum.
1point
#2
Okay so this is tough. I can 100% understand her perspective because I am and was young and stupid. It’s hard not to chase after someone you like. HOWEVER, she should respect your boundaries and I know she’ll regret that she didn’t because I do.
You have a couple of options here. I would recommend slowly texting her less, more time in between replies, such as if you see her message an hour ago, wait another hour to reply. I know this is mean but you seem to need space.
The second thing is you could try to talk to her again. Sometimes all someone needs to hear is “I love you as a friend, but I’m straight” depending on how mature she is she could either accept that or play it off as what ru talking abt??? Or something. If she’s not completely out of the closet it’s important to support her as well.
All in all, I would do the first one first BUT minimally and do the second one if she doesn’t get the hint. Keep in mind that I’m 13 years old and bad at giving advice is you follow the first one. Good luck!
1point