Hey Pandas, Share The Craziest Thing Your Parents Ever Said To You (Closed)

If the lid of the baby grand starts to fall, stick your arm under it to cushion it. Repairs to it will cost a lot, fixing you is free. Also "Jump, and I will catch you" just before I jumped and he walked away. A whole childhood of this type of thing. So happy that he finally died

Not said as much as did... when I "lost" my virginity at 17 I (for some strange reason) told my mum. That evening she gathered the whole family together (I have three brothers) and all exhited beemed "NAME has done something for the first time and we need to celebrate this!" My dad just looked so uncomfortable! Then she brought out a cake! She was so happy and exept for her and my youngest brother, who didnt understand anything and was just happy for the cake, the rest of us ate silently and quickly before running into our seperate rooms to never talk about it again. My mum still loves this story and now so do I.

I had asthma growing up which caused me to gain weight. I was a bit over weight and struggled with my confidence. My father used to call me thunder thighs. I would yell at him to stop while also crying. My mother... she would tell me to calm down he was just joking. I still hold on to that to this day and I am 48 almost 49 years old. It is one of many reasons why I can't stand my father.

My narcissist mother: your father didn't want you but I did. I think I was about 8 years old.

Sometimes it is ok to not mourn a parent's death.

An example of the concurrent mounting trauma that is my mother and grandmother... They used to tell my sister and I that there were special demons that Satan sent out to get little girls. That we would burn in hell if we didnt listen. Which, fine, I get the "lesson" part of that now that I am older.. but it was straight up traumatic as a little kid. Why not just warn of us child predators? And why tell us we are going to "burn" for eternity for not listening? Anyway, 20 years and several diagnoses later, I'm still in therapy for this s**t.

My father would do this obnoxious closed mouth laugh at me when I asked him not to smoke in the car and both parents told me that 2nd hand smoke wasn’t a problem- but neither was smoking. When my father switched to a pipe my mother would be indignant when I said I couldn’t stand his cigarettes because it was a pipe!

I didn’t bother to visit him when he was dying of lung cancer and moaning that he wished he’d quit earlier.

My Dad once told me around the age of 9 or 10 that I should invite my friends over to go walking n**e, in the forest, at night. 😬 I'm not against positive nudity or anything but that suggestion from him was off for my age. He was also the driving force behind the genital cutting so F him! As I aged I had to start warning my friends about him if they were at our house because he was just so creepy.

Oooo so many!
1. I wish I never had kids. Dad sitting in the dark on the sofa, while I sat crying on the stairs.
2. Go brush your crowbars. (I had buck teeth growing up)
3. Mom telling Dad I had a new boyfriend, right out of high school, someone who's family Dad knew from his high school. Dad back to Mom "well, at least she won't get pregnant". (the family came from Greece) I had NO Idea til I was in my 40's what he was talking about.
I would go on, but I have PTSD from my childhood, and am currently on anti-depressants.

When I was a kid, I could wear boy's jeans (I'm a girl.) Then puberty hit and I was sad that I had to wear girl jeans that fit my curves. My mom looked at me and said, "You just need to accept that you're built like a brick s#@% house, and that is never gonna change." She was right!

Went on a week away with friend cut my hair off, showing off my pipe curls. My father opened the door first thing he said: you look like a cotton mop. Offtopic fact he had the same haircut at my age.

They told us girls not to swallow watermelon seeds! It would make us preggers.
I was eight or nine before I learned the truth, not sure if they told us that so we wouldn't choke on the seeds, or what.

I thought you were asking for the ‘craziest’ thing in the sense of “funny” or ‘wacky’, but all the contributions I see here are about very cruel parents. It's very sad that these things have happened, and probably, continue to happen.

Some years back I got into legal trouble and ended up in prison. My mother at one point asked me "Have you considered that the reason you can't get pregnant is because this is God's punishment for what you did?" I was 26 when I found out I would likely never have children; all I ever wanted was to be a mom (up to that point). She also told me at one point that she should have aborted me like her father wanted her to do. Millions of other things said over the years but those were 2 of the worst.

Ok, here we go:
1. Father telling me my whole live (i am a male) that i will end up alone, widouth anyone around me. Oh well, guess who is a sad drunk and have 0 people around him.
2. Same father, never was around us kids when we grew up, got everything from his parents - car, house, help with groceries, and now he is asking money from me when i am trying to buy a condo.
3. Mother loves drama, and always trying to paint herself as a victim.
4. When i was 15, i got in my 1st real fight. I came home, father opened the door, saw me with my black eye, slapped me in my face, turned around and went to bed. (he mostly beat me as a sort of punishment).
There are more "fun" examples, sadly i cant remember any good ones