Hey Pandas, Share The Moment You Knew A Friendship Was Over (Closed)

I was going through a bad divorce, had a major illness and was losing my job due to having run out of FMLA. I was frightened and deeply grieving my situation. My "friend" in another state kept emailing me for updates (pre-texting era), especially the juicy divorce details. I didn't answer her one phone call, so she wrote to me announcing that by not reporting to her, my selfish attitude had absolutely ruined our "friendship."

I realized that she thought I was on a lower level of intelligence than her and that she wouldn’t ever see me as a smart person or good student or anything until I became just like her and lived, breathed, and ate schoolwork. She loved making herself feel better/superior by comparing me to her all the time. When she did well on a test, I congratulated her, and when I did well on a test she was outraged and confused how I possibly did better than her.

TL;DR- 'friend' cussed me out for the consequences of her words because she got kicked out of her friend group.

My "friend" from college (high school's last two years for anyone not from the UK) told me that it was weirding her out that I was being 'moody and stuff', while fully knowing that my nan (mother's mum) had just died. Then, a couple days later, she came up to me and started shrilly shrieking that I had turned 'our'(her) friends against her because she got removed from the Snapchat groupchat, which I do not have, and then out of nowhere just brought up the fact that my dad is Afghan (she's Pakistani) and how my mum is African-Asian, then called me a T3rr0rist and an n-word (for some reason?) saying that I'm not a real woman because I confided my suspected PCOS scare (that thankfully turned out to be nothing) with her, and how I am scared that I will have to get a hysterectomy before 40 or even sooner because the history of problems in my family. At this point, I just shut down and started crying. A few days later, she texted me. She said, and I quote, "heyy ml I haven't done assignment 13 A yet could u send me urs asap?? love love

She fell into some weird pseudo-intellectual rabbit hole and became quite arrogant and condescending, like "you can't even fathom my superior intellectual tastes you peasant" vibes. The last straw was when she just casually mentioned she supports conversion therapy (i.e. "curing" queer people often through torturous methods). That was when I realized we just aren't compatibile anymore and we just let it fizzle out, which is too bad since we were really close friends for ~7 years. And to this day, I have knee-jerk reaction whenever I hear "Jordan Peterson".

When I noticed he had become a completely different person over the years. We were friends for about 13 years. He went from a "simple" boy to a popular tiktok influencer with collaborations with companies. In short: the fame went to his head so much that everything we did was about him. He made money from everything while people helped him for free. Eventually it got so bad that he had a relationship with a pedophile (who at the same time harassed his tiktok viewers) and bragged to everyone about his money + status.

I had this friend who constantly offered to be there for me (e.g., "Let me know - I'll be there in ten minutes"). It wasn't really realistic, because no one always has time for someone else - which I always reminded her of, and I would never make such demands of her. We became friends very quickly. She often offered to drive me when I had to go somewhere - which I accepted a few times. I was always very grateful, because it's not something you can take for granted. In return, she told me about her romantic escapades and showed me chat threads that gave me a strange feeling. She wanted my opinion, and gradually I began to suspect that I wasn't saying exactly what she wanted to hear, but I don't tell anyone what they want to hear, and I'm honest when asked. I don't think she liked that. When my grandmother died, she wasn't there for me at all. When I asked, I always accepted that she didn't have time and didn't hold it against her. In retrospect, the whole thing is pretty strange – because whenever we saw each other briefly, it was usually just about her love affairs. Before we broke up our friendship, she sat on my couch and told me that I was her "best friend." She still always favored her guy, even on New Year's Eve, for example, when I invited her (she could have brought her boyfriend), and she canceled shortly beforehand because she preferred to be alone with him, even though she knew I would be grieving and alone that day. I had to accept that and didn't blame her. Then, two months later, my body reacted so drastically to my loss that I couldn't walk without pain. The pain was really severe, and because she had completed all sorts of training and further education—from massage to chiropractic treatments—I asked her for help. Only then did she inform me that her ex-boyfriend (with whom she still lived and was given money to squander) had cut off her financial support and now had to support herself. If I'd known earlier, I would have thought twice about asking her for help. For me, the friendship was over when she offered me a massage appointment that was many days in the future and would have cost me a lot of money, which I consider an outrageous amount. I don't take anything for granted—except that she told me so late, and then acted as if I couldn't understand (that it was about her livelihood—which I can understand, of course). She knew what was wrong with me. The fact that I was in severe pain, couldn't leave the house without help, and wouldn't have made it to the doctor's office wasn't an issue for her. I politely declined the appointment. I found it hard to believe how someone so close to you constantly offers their services, and then when it really matters, just lets go. I told her that too and then didn't contact her again. That was it for me. Four weeks later, I received a message from her complaining about my "antisocial behavior" and ending her friendship with me, not knowing that I was long past it! She expected an apology, even though I still don't know what for! At the end, she remarked something funny: that she hoped I would learn something from it. Yes, I did. That I should never have trusted her and would be skeptical in the future when someone talks and talks and talks so much. She's no loss to me, and I'm doing perfectly fine without her. I'm very happy to be able to laugh about it and realize that she was never the right friend for me. In that sense, I was lucky because I could have taken it and processed it differently, but she made exactly the right accusations, which made it easy for me to just let her go without feeling like I had to fight for my position. I have other sources of support, and I'm very grateful for them. And even though almost everything in my life isn't going well, I struggle every day, am often desperate, and dependent on help, I'm doing pretty well with this "wrong" friend issue! :) It's true – people show their true colors when you need them most!

When I realized we only got along when we were high on d***s, and when we weren't we did nothing but fight.
Walking away from that was actually a huge relief. He now can barely hold a job because of his alcoholism, makes just above minimum wage, and alcohol has ravaged his body so severely he looks like he's a homeless man in his 60s instead of a 48 year old.

it was over when my closest friend got angry with me for not spending the same amount of time with her when my son and grandson moved back home. he had just lost his wife due to complications with the birth of their first child. he was lost on so many levels - dealing with loss, learning to be a parent alone, worried about finances, etc. her family never contacted him or showed any concern for either him or the new grandchild. yes, he was an adult but he was still my child who needed support even if that support was just my presence. she scolded me like a child and told me that i 'owed' her my time and attention and 'besides, he (my son) was 21 and needed to stand up like a man. didn't exactly ghost her but the relationship became cooler and eventually we didn't see each other much other than social events. i was very sad about this because she had always been a good friend and confidant.

Learned my lesson the hard way. I was never their friend. They only called or invited me when they needed an extra number of headcount to share cost. While I considered them to be my 'girl gang', I was only an option for them. the final blow was when I wasn't invited to an important get together. I stopped communicating.

I was friends with a coworker and when she got laid off, we continued to be friends via email. We met up for lunch and a movie with our significant others. The next day, I got a nasty email saying my SO and I were rude because we didn't say thank you enough, we were inconsiderate because they bought lunch, even though we bought dinner, and we were rude because my SO and I talked to each other without including her in our conversations. The conversations we had were about our own home stuff and had nothing to do with her. I tried to explain, but there was no winning. No matter what, I was a bad person and friend.