Hey Pandas, Talk About (Almost) Anything Here.

I need help with my gender, Magpie mentioned being librafeminine and I might also be librafeminine but I could also be non-binary but leaning towards the fem side, I would appreciate it if someone who is agender or libragender would help describe their gender.

Libragender means that you feel mostly agender but lean slightly towards another gender.
Librafeminine refers to libragender people who lean to the fem side.

Uhm, if your name is "moose lamb tear or wrist" or whatever the f**k, you can stop harassing my ✨amazing friends and acquaintances✨ now...

Look at me, spamming mermeows posts *as usual*. But anywayssss:

#1- I think something's wrong with me lol. I've just been blacking out randomly for absolutely no reason. Maybe it's because I haven't eaten in a few days? Idk?

#2- I need ideas for my friend's Christmas gift. They love manga/anime (specifically mha) and they also like Greek mythology. They loveee drawing as well. I wanna get them something a bit more personal than, like, a giftcard, since I've known them for 11 years.

#3- i have a ✨platonic/aesthetic crush✨ (aroace struggles lol) on one of my irl friends. It's nothing romantic/seggsual, but it's confusing asf- 👹👹👹

#4- im rlly worried about may- im afraid she's going to kill herself or something. May, if ur reading this, pls respond so everyone knows ur alive.

✨i have the flu✨

it's the FREAKING SECOND time I've gotten it since the beginning of the school year. N top of that I also got a flu vaccine like a week ago so wtf???

I want to die. Nobody really wants me here and life is stressful and annoying. And people talk too much. I just want to tell everyone to just shut up!! But I can't because that would be rude so I just have to bare it. And apparently I gaslight and guilt trip my mum. So it turns out I am a terrible person. And Dorothy (the mean little voice in my head) is back. She keeps telling how stupid I am. She's right but couldn't she just shut up for five f*cking minutes??? But don't worry I won't commit sucide. It'd be too painful and I don't know what happens after death and what if it's really horrible?? And the future is so scary. I have no idea what I'm going to do when I leave home and climate change and stuff like that is terrifying. And National is in charge now and I'm worried. They've already reversed the smoking law. So now the young people of New Zealand can be addicted to smoking?? Great job, Chris /s.

So yeah I want to die and I'm scared for the future.
And I know I shouldn't be complaining. I have such a good life and I'm whining like a little brat.

Yay I can gush about my one of my new obsessions tysm

Everything I think I'm getting better I get 2x worse, and I've been too cowardly to kill myself up to this point but I don't want to be a coward anymore. So I think I'll probably try, I can't get out of my situation anyway

currently crying instead of sleeping...

i’m not entirely happy but i don’t want to die :)
yay that’s good!! :D
school ends on the 19. of December so yay!
i’m probably depressed.
i want to come out to my parents but i also don’t want to.

btw this is an alt account of someone you probably know (at least mermeow overlord) :)
i sometimes sh by pushing my nails into my arm/leg because that’s painful. it isn’t really visible but it could be :/

I think my notifications broke again, how about everyone else?

okay, erm here goes nothing ^^

I love love love love love the character ardbeg from happy birthday balevenie. like he's sooo cute and I just wanna cuddle him so bad. like?? who wouldn't want to?? and jo sipu (youtube) makes the cutest pastel gore animations ever. like. I'm sobbing rn I want that talent soo bad..

and basil from omori? ohmygosh. where to even start???? he's literally my favorite character ever in the history of ever. and his hAIR. IT LOOKS SO FREAKIN FLUFFYYY. I want his hair tbh,, like, I'm not joking I'm about to yank his hair off his head. /hj the fanarts of him are soooooooooooooo cute, I have like a million saved on my computer.

and sunny from omori is so cuteeeeee also sob. I want to walk up to the trauma boys (sunny and basil) and hug them so hard dude. they don't deserve all of their traumaaa.

anyways. tysm for reading, have an amazingg day!! :3

BROOOO I just checked my school calendar and I realized that my summer break starts in mid July and ends in mid august -_- my friend's summer break literally starts in mid May and they go back only like a week earlier than meee. Also in July im going on vacation for a couple weeks which means I'm only going to have like, one full week to see my irl friends :(

sometimes i just feel pointless and i do something weird, like i went outside barefoot and walked in the snow for a while. i don’t know why. my mom refuses to let me get tested for adhd even though both her and my dad have it and my sister does too, i don’t know why she just kinda excludes me from it, it might have something to do with me being gay and everything.