Hey Pandas, Talk About Mental Health Here (Closed)

I hate ADHD sometimes. When I really need to get something done I can sit down for hours trying to do it and literally can do anything except that one thing. It’s so frustrating.

i wish i didn’t feel the need to always hide my personality/the real me. i’ve made a more toned down version of myself that i put on when with people/in public, and i literally cannot be myself. i tend to think so much about what i do and how i do it that i don’t know what i’d naturally do. my sort of grandma told me to look at her when she was speaking. it’s just not NATURAL for me. i just can’t. i want to tell people about the stuff i’m currently super obsessed with. my classmates are hateful towards almost everything i am. i’m the person who you’re a pity friend for, or who you go to when you need entertainment (like going to the zoo kind of entertainment). i wish that i could cover my ears when things get too loud. I wish my mum could just store the information regarding me and textures she knows i can’t stand in her head, and just remember it. i’ve always hated tomatoes. it’s not going to change any time soon. just because i haven’t eaten avocados in ages doesn’t mean i’ll suddenly love it. i’ll try the dish with the “scary” food if i want to/need to. encouraging me won’t change anything. i’ll just feel more guilty if i don’t eat it, or more compelled to do so. i occasionally knowingly starve myself. not cuz i hate my body or something, i just don’t feel like eating. it’s too hard. it’s way easier to just drink some water or chew some gum and ignore it. i feel weird (i na bad way) when i wear my noise cancelling headphones outside and listen to music. i wouldn’t survive the school bus without them. i’m just so tired. welp.

Recently, I walked away from a guy who I thought was a friend for 13 years last year. I left him because of his negativity, drama, and controlling ways. He would say things like you're ok but not beautiful. You can't hold a guy long enough. It didn't matter who I was dating at the the. Every guy was a jerk in his eyes. He told me that he's the only guy in my life who knew howbto handle me.


Now, I know I'm beautiful inside and out. I'm working on my self esteem and confidence. I'm striving