Hey Pandas, What Is The First Joke You Think Of? (Closed)

Why did the coffee cup go to the police?
It got mugged

My Mom told me a story the other day. Her coworker went to Art Van furniture and they were walking around. All of a sudden the lady's daughter pulls a gun and aims it at her own head.

Lady flips and tries to wrestle the gun away. Daughter ends up winning the battle and committed suicide right there in the middle of the store.

My husband after the story is over....

"Prices so low, they'll blow your mind."

The other day I heard a kid in the store say “daddy it’s too big”
Then someone else said “That’s what she said.”

What concert only costs 45 cents to attend?

50 Cent featuring Nickelback

I'll see myself out.....

Today someone stole my antidepressants. I’m not sure who it was, but I just hope their happy

Why did the old man fall in the well?
Bc he couldn’t see that well

Give a man a match
He'll be warm for a day
Light a man on fire
He'll be warm for the rest of his life.

I love dark humor :>

There was an ant and there was a grasshopper. The ant was collecting acorns for the winter, and he was being really annoying about it too. He kept saying things like 'Theres no way Im starving this winter.' and 'These acorns are keeping me alive this year'. Well the grasshopper has heard enough and is fed up, so he says to the ant, 'Hey you know whats gonna happen to me this winter? Im gonna lay some eggs, then Im gonna die. Because thats what happens to grasshoppers. And youre an ant. Ants dont even eat acorns! What are you, r******d? And the ant was.

I randomly throw in "that's what she said" into conversation and hope it makes sense.

It usually doesn't.

why did the chicken cross the road
to get to the other side