Hey Pandas, Tell Us All The Dumbest Lies You Said When You Were A Kid (Closed)

I was a weird kid(and still am, but not quite to this extent). I have proudly lied to many kids, saying I licked cars, and could identify them by taste. I still don't know how anyone believed me. I also told other kids I could eat ants, and even faked it at recess.

My mom made a cake and it looked so good so I nibbled a little of it and then a little more and a little more. When she found it she saw me with crumbs on my face and a good quarter of the cake missing. I said there was a mouse that ate it and I couldn’t tell it to go away.

Once I told my class that I owned a cow

I told some kids in my 4th grade class that my grandma dated Paul Harvey before WW2 broke out.

"The cat did it!"

We don't have a cat, and never had.

There is a teaching in the New Testament that loosely says if someone sues you one of your garments, you should give them a second garment as well.

I was in middle school, and told a preteen neighbor that if someone sued you for your clothes, you had to walk around naked. I think i just made that up, because i wasn't much smarter than the kid who believed it

"I can do a handstand... just not right now"

I wasn't smoking

When I was little my grandmother bought me a big tub of bubbles to play with I her porch and being an unsupervised 8 year old I dumped out the ENTIRE tub and when she came out and asked wtf had happened I told her this “a goat came up and peed up here” this was one of those porches with a screen door that could lock…she just sighed and said “come eat”

I can’t lie

That I was so intelligent I'd learned how to read and write Sanskrit. In actual fact, it was just a random language I'd made up myself lol.

I swore I was part Japanese, part Chinese and part Thai (I grew up in a predominantly Asian neighbourhood and really wanted to fit in). Don't think anyone believed me though as I have blonde hair, blue eyes and a saltine is darker than my skin.

that I had an older brother

I, inexplicably, said that I drink martinis in grade 6. I don't know why i said it. I don't remember the context, I just remember saying it ans people being a combination of sceptical or genuinely amazed.

No one in my family drinks martinis. We didn't even have gin in the house. I could have chosen practically any other alcoholic beverage because i'd actually at least tried most, but nah I chose martini, the only one I had never seen in person or tasted...

I'll start first
I tripped near a BUNCH OF CACTUS or CACTI! and I told my mom I fell INTO the cactus or cacti! (I have no idea this sound similar to TimToms Story).

When I was 13-14 my best friend and I wrote fake letters from Alyssa Milano with lipstick kisses on them. 😬