Hey Pandas, What Are Some Of The Funniest Things You Have Heard In Your Life? (Closed)

Technically didn't hear, technically read. I was an intern in insurance like a decade ago where the short hand for a short term insurance claim was STI.

It was common, for case workers to not write the full name of the client and instead just write short hand initials.

Also, in some insurance plans they covered sexually transmitted infections...

This caused me to come across one ridiculous chain where STI's STI STI was outstanding. STI's STI STI is awaiting STI's STI STI treatment form. So on and so forth for about 30messages.

... honestly, I know laughing at that is probably going to send me to hell... but in my defense it was a tedious rather boring job and that claim chain kept me entertained for an afternoon. STI, wherever you are, I'm sorry about your (treatable) STI, but that message chain genuinely made me smile so thank you.

"It's the Shakespearean way of when ladies say 'The best way to get over a guy is to get under another one.'" - My English teacher

I was teaching the preschool class at my church and suddenly a kid raised their hand and started crying and then said, “teacher, my middle thumb hurts!” He was talking about the paper cut on his middle finger but I loved the fact that he said “middle thumb” 😭

"cry with out the g!!" "craig?"
"dam gurl uv got more lines on ur thighs than I've snorted"
"fk the pine cone it'll never be a shovel!!!"

I keep a whole document of weird things I’ve heard people say but here are some recents

“Don’t text and vacuum, kids”

“We’ve got like every gender at this school.”
“Yeah I think there's even an Italian”

“Mason put away the cookbook this is Civics class”

Drama teacher: I love that what you guys write has an underlying theme of murder

“What is a Burger but a beef sandwich”

“Word of advice, don’t headbang to Gatcha songs”

“Could you please stop sending people to hell in my classroom.”

“Free-range computers.”

We were buying my brother a laptop for college and it was going to rain. My mom suggested we go to the store before it rained, and I said something about the computers not being stored outside.

My dad then made a joke about the computers roaming around the parking lot and called the, “free range computers”