I’m not going to write a long description, but I will say that my dad is a master of dad jokes and puns. Having gotten my sense of humor from him, I would love to get some new jokes as well as share some with the rest of you. It can be as cringe-worthy as you want; the cornier, the better! Feel free to make one up, too, if that’s something you’re good at. Have fun!
#1
i was kidnapped by mimes
they did unspeakable things to me
they did unspeakable things to me
37points
#2
Q: What's brown and sticky?
A: A stick.
A: A stick.
23points
#3
Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked
20points
#4
Kid: "Dad, im hungry"
Dad: "I'm Austria the country nextdoor".
Dad: "I'm Austria the country nextdoor".
19points
#5
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it becomes apparent
19points
#6
i'm going to make an airline for bald people its going to be called receding airlines.
19points
#7
Do trees poop? Of course they do! How else would we get #2 pencils?
18points
#8
𝑺𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒔𝒉𝒐𝒘𝒆𝒓 𝒊𝒔 𝒇𝒖𝒏 𝒖𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒍 𝒚𝒐𝒖 𝒈𝒆𝒕 𝒔𝒐𝒂𝒑 𝒊𝒏 𝒚𝒐𝒖𝒓 𝒆𝒚𝒆𝒔. 𝑻𝒉𝒆𝒏 𝒊𝒕'𝒔 𝒂 𝒔𝒐𝒂𝒑 𝒐𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒂!
18points
#9
What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.
17points
#10
“I’m hungry”
“Hi hungry I’m dad”
And that’s the story of how I started saying “I crave food”
“Hi hungry I’m dad”
And that’s the story of how I started saying “I crave food”
15points
#11
What does James Bond do before he sleeps?
He goes undercover!
And why does he go to bed early?
So he can wake up at 0:07
He goes undercover!
And why does he go to bed early?
So he can wake up at 0:07
13points
#12
Me: that doesn't make sense
Dad: you're right it makes dollars
13points
#13
I like telling Dad jokes. Sometimes he laughs!
13points
#14
I'll start us off with a personal favorite...
Why did the pony go to the doctor?
It was a little horse. (Hoarse)
Why did the pony go to the doctor?
It was a little horse. (Hoarse)
12points
#15
"I'm afraid for the calendar. Its days are numbered."
12points
#16
What do you call an amputee doing karate?
Partial arts.
11points
#17
Daughter/Son: Why did the chicken cross the road?
Dad:I dont know. Why?
Daughter/Son: To get to the idiot's house. Knock Knock.
Dad:Who's there?
Daughter/Son:The chicken.
Dad:You live with me though, daughter.
Daughter/Son:...
Dad:I dont know. Why?
Daughter/Son: To get to the idiot's house. Knock Knock.
Dad:Who's there?
Daughter/Son:The chicken.
Dad:You live with me though, daughter.
Daughter/Son:...
10points
#18
Dad: what do you call cheese that isn’t yours?
My daughter: I don’t know dad.
Dad: Nacho Cheese!
My daughter: I don’t know dad.
Dad: Nacho Cheese!
10points
#19
Dad: What do you call a king who's only 12 inches tall?
Son: IDK
Dad: A ruler!
Son: IDK
Dad: A ruler!
Dad: What do you call two banana peels?
Dad: A pair of slippers!
Dad: A pair of slippers!
9points
#20
Why can’t you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?
Because the “P” is silent
8points