Hey Pandas, What Are Your Favorite Funny Stories? (Closed)

A long-time friend of mine was a handyman for many years. He could tell a lot of great stories. One of the most memorable involved fixing up a house. A colleague of his was up on a ladder, spray-painting a second story eave. Suddenly he began spraying in every direction - turns out he had accidentally sprayed a wasp nest. One of the wasps got in his shorts, so he very gingerly climbed down the ladder in order to remove the insect without getting stung.

He got to the ground safely, and sat down - on top of a nest of red ants.

Imagine a man trying to be all three of the Stooges at once.

When my daughter was potty training she was very excited about her new paw patrol panties. One evening we ordered pizza for supper when the delivery guy arrived she ran to the door lifted her skirt & asked the pizza guy if he liked her new panties. He look horrified and then akwardly said "umm yeah, nice"

me at 3am remembering the time when thought smashing someone meant literally smashing them into wall and used this as a threat. i was nine X_X

Once during a fire drill at school (I think I was around 10 or 12 then), I was talking to one of my classmates next to me. I wasn't looking ahead and I bumped into a dead end sign like in a cartoon. No damage done, except embarrassment from the laughter that ensued.

My husband and I went to a Christmas party where the booze flowed freely. We were having a great time, and did not realize how inebriated we were--until we went out to our car to go home. What to do? We decided to push the car home - it was only about 10 blocks away, on a basically level street. It was a very small but valuable car, and we were able to push it easily. On the way, a policeman spotted us and we had to pull over. Given the poor neighborhood, the lateness of the hour, the value of the car, and the fact that we were pushing it, he naturally thought we were stealing it. He checked our registration and insurance and our IDs. We were clearly the owners. So he asked what was the matter with the car, and we replied,

"Nothing. Sir."

So he asked why we were pushing it.

We replied brightly that "We are too drunk to drive it."

He scratched his head for a while, then escorted us as we pushed the car the rest of the way home. We wished each other a very merry Christmas, and he drove slowly away.

Two conversations. I was 4, ready for church. Older brother won't get out of bed. Parroting my parents, little me looks at mom and says "Jesus Christ. What are we going to do about Jon?".
Second. I'm a teen, just started menstruation. Maybe 6 months in. "Mom, we need to pick up Stayfree". (Branded FH product). Mom: " Can't you just use Right Guard?"(Brand named underarm deodorant). Me.. No

My two older brothers and I were serving mass one sunday. There is a part in the mass where one of the alter servers would go to ceremonially wash the priests hands. This particular priest had bad breathe. Non of us wanted to go close enough smell it.

It quickly turned into a brotherly slap fest. The three Le***** boys fighting on the alter during mass.

This happened a few days ago. I (11F) was at school and my friend Vanessa (11F) came up to me in last period and I was like oh c**p what now. She handed me a note and it was a love note!I looked and it said it was from Jackson (11M). I am in shock but then Vanessa passed me a note that said it was a prank from Knox (12M). I was like I'm gonna get him, and then I glared at him from across the room. He saw my face and he knew he messed up. I then gave the note to Jackson and told him Knox wrote it. I went home crying because Jackson is my crush

I don't work on a luxury yacht but I'm thinking the craziest thing I would see would be the luxury yacht