Hey Pandas, What Is Something You Are Willing To Say To Strangers On The Internet But Not Your Close Ones?

For me, the beauty of posting online is the degree of anonymity it provides. I have offered up deep, personal secrets on here that I would never discuss with my family, or even my therapist. It's quite cathartic.

The thing is, I have physical and mental health issues which I am trying my hardest to deal with. My wife and extended family do not need to hear of my struggles and if they did, then I am quite sure that they would worry. I don't want to put them through that, so I internalise as much as possible and then offload it onto my psychiatrist, psychologist and support worker (I really am getting good value from the NHS!).

I hate writing things down (a touch of paranoia) on paper because then it feels real, tangible even, and I am terrified that someone might pick it up and see my inner turmoil. But. I find sending messages like this one into the ether, so therapeutic. The notion that somebody, somewhere might have read it, seems to jog things along and scupper the ruminations.

Sorry if I have overshared and big *HUGS* to any pandas that need them right now.

I'm pretty sure I have autism, and I will move out of the country when I grow up specifically to get away from my parents. Neither of which are to be said in front of them. Autism? "Sweetie, you're neurotypical, you don't have any problems socializing." Moving away from them? "You can't leave me, you're my baby. *cue crying*"

Neither of these things are true, I do have socializing problems and I can leave you. Still never going to say it.

I try not to reveal too much here, i'm always afraid someone will put everything I say together and figure out it's me. Then they would know my secrets. Although I say some things I wouldn't say irl here.

I use this account and my reddit for talking about my time in the mental health system. Because of how fundamentally different everything is between inpatient/residential and the real world, I can't even tell arbitrary, non-upsetting stories from over a year of my life. I have to explain little details that lead to more and more things and if I'm talking to my family who knows they feel bad and if I'm talking to anyone else they ask questions they won't like the answers to. At least here you can stop reading if you want to. Here you don't feel obligated to react and reply or somehow try to comfort me or make up for everything that happened. If you don't like it, you can scroll on by.

There's multiple things. Just the fact that I'm basically anonymous makes it easier to say things I don't want to say out loud.

One is that I'm very certain I'm asexual. It's not that the people I know would hate me for it, it's just that I'm not sure how to bring it up. I also know it will make it very hard for me to date so I don't want to say anything yet. Another is my current mental state. I won't go into detail right now, but basically it's complete s**t and getting worse every day. Also that I have a crush on this guy I probably shouldn't like and if I said anything it would probably make some people confused and definitely mess up the friendship-like thing he and I currently have. Oh and also mg major self image issues. I hate my body and I hate my face and some assholes at school keep asking if I'm really a guy (I am a cis girl) and it pisses me off. Just today this kid I hate asked and he seemed serious. I know they're almost certainly just saying it to make me upset, but I can't help but s**t on myself more after someone asks. Like, I get it, I'm super flat, I don't need more people making me feel bad about it.

Not nearly as serious as the other submissions but here is mine ..... I will never again respect someone that was a vocal anti-masker during Covid. I have been removing myself from most people that were vocal anti-maskers. No need to have a show-down. I am just slowly distancing myself from their lives since they didn't care to try to protect mine with such an easy thing to do. They chose politics over trying to stop the spread of a world-wide pandemic. I feel that they deserve absolutely no respect from me.

I have really s**t mental health and I think i have ADHD, anxiety and depression (I have a depression diagnosis but not an ADHD or anxiety one yet but I'm going to soon)

I have mental issues. Anxiety, depression, low self esteem, and OCD. I've made some progress , i've finally reach one of my goals: i'm not self-hurting anymore. But still, sometimes, it's really hard. I'm often hurt. Sometimes, i'm feeling empty. Sometimes, i want to scream my pain until i lose my voice. Sometimes, i cry for hours, until i fall asleep. Sometimes, i hate myself more than ever. My looks, my voice, my weakness, everything. But i'll never give up. I want to be proud of me. I don't know you, you don't know me. But thanks for reading, it makes me feel better. To everyone who are struggling: take your time to heal. Dont be harsh on yourself. Step by step, even tiny ones. Courage, take care of you. You're facing a very difficult time, but you're still here. You are more brave than you think. And it's okay to fall. It's okay to cry. You got it! I'm.proud of you 😉

That I am so lonely I can barely breathe and my social anxiety is so severe it holds me prisoner and keeps me isolated. My coworkers and family have no idea because I don't have a problem with performing/public speaking, but that is not the same as socializing.
Since my second divorce, I feel like there is something wrong with me and that no one will ever love me again.
And I am concerned that I might have a problem with alcohol.

That I'm gay lol it's true though haven't come out to my parents or brother yet but everyone else knows

well i havent told anyone in my famliy im bi

I'm actually the opposite ,I hold back a lot more online. I can choose not to comment or post, whereas in the real world it's not often acceptable to just ignore people.

As I'm lacking in a few key emotions, often I can only look at things with my own logic and cold assessment of fact and give my objective response. This can make things difficult if the subject is of an emotional nature.

My wire tends to approve anything I add to my socials before I post them, especially if I'm followed by family members.

BP is pretty much the only place I where comment without censorship or filter. I feel the community is pretty well balanced and, while I might get the occasional downvote or 2 if my opinion differs from the majority, the overall response seem to one of discussion rather than attack and ridicule.

Sometimes I cry into my cat

I have a hard time talking to people irl and It’s just easier to talk online especially to people you don’t know,

two big things I have NEVER even mentioned in real life...asexuality and autism! Nope!

My sexuality.

I'm really good at complimenting people online, but when I like someone's hair or something in public, I freeze up so fast you'd think I looked at Madusa.

I tell them that I have depression because they will actually listen (most of them that I've met so far) and try to help me with it. I find it very nice of them to help but also because my family wont really acknowledge it because they are always so rude to me and are such pains in the neck.

I can't talk to me family about the issues I face dating. Being 40, trans, have anxiety and PTSD. It's not easy. They tell me to just get over it. People online are more understanding.