Hey Pandas, What Is The Best Lie You've Ever Told Someone? (Closed)

Not the best in terms of getting someone to believe me, but best because it is funny:

When I was little I would always try to make up excuses to get out of bed. I would say "I'm thirsty" or "I'm not tired." Well at one point I guess my little brain had ran out of excuses so I went out and told my mom "My bed is too comfy". I just stayed in bed after that one.

Not neccesarily best, but funny nonetheless.

I was at my grandma's house on my dad's side, and I have a little 4 year old cousin, and she looks at me while i'm drinking my soda and she goes, "Where do babies come from?"

I nearly spit my drink everywhere. I blinked and looked at her and grinned. "Your mom and dad bought you and put you together. You, for one, came from Ikea." and she was totally awed, and she runs over to her mom and dad (My aunt and uncle) and literally says:

"Mommy, daddy, can we go to Ikea?"
"Why, darling?" They asked sweetly.
"I want a sister!!"

Okay, so I used to sleepwalk when I was little and I still do if I'm really stressed. I also have a habit of getting up out of bed at night when I can't sleep. So one night I got up at like 3 in the morning and I got up and started cutting paper into a trashcan (don't ask) and my mom opened the door and caught me. She asked what I was doing and In my one and only act of fast thinking I mumbled something under my breath and said loudly "Pawpaw's watermelons" and she just closed the door and walked away.

In like 2nd grade I was able to convince my friend that I had blackbeard's treasure in my back yard. I had a shed that was covered in ivy and didnt know what it was so I said that I was blackbeard's descendant and I had his treasure in there 🤣 I dont think I ever told her otherwise...

Telling people that I was Taylor swifts best friend. I was in third grade.

Telling people I was okay.

I told my friends that i adopted them. ( i am adopted)

Saying "I'm fine"

in 1st grade i told people my dad was a lawyer. i said "my dads a lawyer. i can sue you for anything". nobody messed with me after that.

Not exactly best, but funniest:

When I was in 2nd grade, there was a little 5 year old girl who really looked up to me. I told her I was a magical fairy but I just hid my wings and that I could grant her 1 wish. So then she asked me for a butterfly. I feel really bad because I never did get her a butterfly.

Telling people I am okay.

Saying i was going to a friends house when I was actually going out with a GROUP of friends and going out

i told her i did not brake her window the cat did

“Everything is okay”

3 years ago when i was 8-9. I got in trouble for hitting my best friend with a stick... A "recess monitor" saw it and sent me to the office as well as my friend... On the 2-3 minute walk to the office we were dicussing how to get out of it. eventually w came up to: (f= friend. m=me.)
F: lets say that we were talking about that time i came over to your house.
M: ...and that you got mad at me for winning a game.
F: so just playfully you hit me with a....
M: uhhh, ooh. a blanket?
Suree

In the end. I got away with it.
(sorry for all the text)

It's not you, it's me.

Got my best friend to believe I was in a different state visiting family and wont be home for a long time got caught the next day when she saw me in school. I am a very good liar and i lied to her because i didnt want to play fortnite with her

I totally don't bring my phone to my room to watch youtubers that make me happy at night. I really want to tell my parents about it but am to scared about how much they will be disappointed in me, after all I have been lying to them for 3 years.