Hey Pandas, What Is The Most Absurd Way Of Killing An Enemy? (Closed)

Make them think I’m crazy with I am and trap them in my house strapped to a char and every time they tried to move they would get electrocute and then bring his or her family to them and make him watch me kill there family then I would stuff him in a bad and hang him from a tree and throw stuff at him until he dies then put his body in side of a toilet at a restraunt

Eeerr.... I don't know if this is absurd but give them LSD somehow, bind their hands behind their back and feet together with a combo of gaffer tape and zip ties, put them in a pig pen of hungry pigs and let the sweet pigs do the rest.

Long ago, they would tie your arms and legs to different horses. Then, people would make the horses run opposites directions, which would tear your body apart.

1. Send him a poisoned cigar - no, wait that didn't work...

2. Hire mobsters to kill him - no, wait they don't speak Spanish

3. Hide explosives inside a big sea shell, paint it with bright colors and - no that didn't work either.

4. Give him a skin infection by treating the inside of his dive suit with bacteria - no, no luck there either.

5. Dust his shoes with Thallium salts to make his beard fall out - no, too weird and probably not fatal.

Oh, I know ... let him die of old age!

Yep, these were all plans by the CIA to take out Fidel Castro in the 1960s.

I make powdered donuts but replace the powdered sugar with fentanyl and ketamine filled cocaine, then after they eat it, they will get super high and depressed. Eventually they will want commit unalive, they will try to go to a bridge and that's when the numbing effect happens, they won't be able to swim up because survival instinct and die. After they drown and police see the body, they see the drugs in your body and assume you commit unalive. :3

Grab their nose yank it and crush their head against my knee or get a knife, fork, or spoon.

i don''t know. If the police let you do ANYTHING, maybe I would trap them in my basement and listen to the same creepy nursery rhyme over and over, to drive them insane a bit. Then take them outside and make him stare directly into the sun to make them blind so they cant see where their going. ( Just getting rid of almost all his senses ) Then push him into a pit of lava, and watch him burn. It sounds so lame compared to the submissions on this but its a way to kill!

prank them and then kill them. if your going for morbid:
1. bleed to death... from paper cuts
2. send them through a wood chipper feet first so they have to watch their lower body....
oof i'd never do that.
i'd prank tho!