Hey Pandas, What Is The Most Toxic Friendship You Have Had?

She was my co-worker and we shared an office for several years, so we got close. I stood by her side when her fiance dumped her, just when they were planning their wedding. Patiently listened to her endless complaints about her ex and witnessed her hysterical cries. Joined her in vacations so she wouldn't feel alone and miserable. Defended her when others were gossiping about her. Whenever she needed a shoulder to lean on, I was there for her. BIG mistake. Fast forward 2 years, she found someone else and got married. I went through a difficult period too. She didn't bother to give a call or a message when I was hospitalized. (She later explained she didn't want to spoil her vacation with her sweetheart.) I had depressive episodes and tried to talk to her about it, but she dismissed it as being "silly and nonsense". One evening we went out to a restaurant. The bartender casually asked her about me: "Is she your best friend?" To which she bluntly replied: "No, she's not my friend". (She later explained to me that I shouldn't be upset about it, because in her opinion, there was no one she could call "a true friend") Later on I found out that she had been gossiping and slandering me on every occasion - pretty much in the same period when I acted as her unpaid therapist.

When I was 16, I had a friend. My best friend, or so I thought. I had another friend, a guy friend. She hated him for some reason and got into arguments with him. One day, she texted me and asked if I was still hanging out with the other friend. I said yes, and she told me if I kept hanging out with him, she would stop being my friend. If I left him, she would stay my friend. It was really hard, because I was at the point of my life where a lot of my friends had left me, and I didn't want to lose her too. Well that other friend, being a great friend, helped me let her go, and she left, and I felt much better, and I am still friends with that guy friend.

My most toxic relationship was with someone I’ll call Martha. I am a Christian and very spiritual and even though her husband is very much into his church and spends a lot of time there, she is an atheist. Which is fine, I just wanted to be friends with her. Martha acted like she was supportive of her husband’s work with the church, but would let remarks slip about “churchy people” and that’s the reason they got covid and when I would thank God or say something spiritual, I pretty much got the stink eye. It’s like she thought it was alright to be who she was, but when it came to me practicing my beliefs, I was a foolish child. She got me into a bad situation with some of my friends at an event where she spoke her mind about something they had done earlier in the week, and had the nerve to call me “insecure” because I wanted to talk to her about how I was repairing the damage that had been done that week. I wasn’t “insecure,” I was breathing in the toxins she was throwing at me. I told her this was the end of the friendship. I said, “I love you friend, but I can’t do this with you anymore.” I know she caused the fights with my friends on purpose, because we had roomed together for those few days and we had both checked out. I had not realized I had left my pillow in the room. She checked out after me and could have brought my pillow down, but she waited an hour or so later to ask me if I remembered my pillow in the room. Didn’t say she saw it, just wondered if I had remembered it. And then I come downstairs with my pillow and my friends are screaming at me at the top of my lungs. I lived about an hour away from home and I cried all the way home. An then when I talked to her about it, she started acting all superior, like she was so much better and I was something on the bottom of her shoe. She lied so much and it broke my heart. But I learned that you can’t hang on to friends just because you want a friend. You have to cherish the friends who are good to you and you are good to them. I feel so much better for letting go. :)

Ugh, I’ve been there. When I was 9 I moved to a new, much smaller and quieter town. I befriended these 3 girls and we bonded instantly. In 6th grade, we were hanging out on the playground and I bent down to tie my shoe. When I turned back around they were walking away. They started distancing themselves from me, and even made me have a meltdown during lunch. Eventually, they put a letter in my locker LITERALLY SAYING “we are writing this letter to officially declare we are no longer friends”. I still have it. But wanna know the craziest thing? The ringleader of the three wrote it and forged the other girls’ signatures, AND it was sent on Friday the 13th. Not even kidding. Never ever did anything to them. -_-

When I was in year 6 there were these girls who made fun of me because a teacher spilled that I am autistic ( I am and that teacher got fired cause my parents made them keep it a secret) and I was having a melt down for they kept on bullying me and this all happened on my birthday ! And they kept on saying oh my god stop swearing at us umi ( I’m using my fake name) and than I was crying so much that I some girls got a teacher and the teacher came and was like what’s the mater and before I started they were lying that I was swearing at them and the thing that angers me the most is how they said umm miss she just doesn’t understand life that well , she is just a bit undeveloped for she has autism ! They were meant to be my best friends!

sucky friend. lied, made excuses, etc. when i did leave the friendship, she would not. leave. me. alone. there was a LOT of bullying after that.

When I was in active addiction my friends always wanted me around. I always got the best deals and had the money. When I quit, the one that was supposed to be my best friend wouldn't even speak to me. She said I left her high and dry and she was withdrawing and it was all my fault. She spent her bill money for drugs, lost her house and everything and all was blamed on me.