Hey Pandas, What Is Your Best Comeback? (Closed)

Once my sister said "You're so ugly!" and I said "Oh hey, we're twins!"

"At least I don't have to hide behind my insecurities by hurting other people."

someone[mybully} said"lets ignore her today!" me"I CAN FINALLY TAKE OVER THE WORLD AND NO ONE WILL KNOW UNTIL ITS TOO LATE!!!!!!!! I AM JUST AN INISENT FLY ON THE WALL!!!*villain laughter*n HHHHHAAAAAAJHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH

One of the best I've seen (I think I stole it from a bp list) was "First of all, brush your teeth. Second... *insert your rebuttal to their statement*" I also love "Okay? And?" accompanied by a blank/expectant stare

If someone gets all angry with me and just starts spewing some vile stuff I wait until they finish and say "If you wanted to make out with me that badly you could've just asked."

if someone says something mean to you like for instance you your ugly i know you are but so am i so on and so on until they something nice like your pretty and then you say HANK YOU SO MUCH HOW SWEET OF YOU! and then walk away

“I will shove my foot so far up your a*s you will become a scarecrow” -blue mouse

Just say "Go to French hell". It will leave them wondering French hell is.

My usual comeback to my sister’s snarky remarks:

Her: “Your face is ugly.” Me with a straight face: “You’re one to talk.” Her: “Be quiet!!! I have a beautiful face!!”

Sometimes I just stare at her. She’s big on emotions and I’m not, and my staring makes her more upset. “Stop looking at me!”

Sometimes, for people on the internet, I respond to insults and remarks with a very serious, non-sarcastic reply. Someone says something snarky and I say very pointedly “you are incorrect about this, you assumed THIS without any evidence, and that was a misunderstanding. Also, I don’t do that other thing either. Don’t stereotype a whole group based on some of the loud mouths’ actions :)”

I use “:)” for a “this is a warning” face. I use “=)” for a genuinely friendly face.

I was annoying a coworker by asking the same question, phrased differently, several times one day. She was on a deadline, totally stressed and trying really hard to be patient. i was new to tech support and really did not understand our ATM software so I really needed to know. About the 5th time she explained it again and finished with "and why don't you just tatoo that on your a$$ so I can get back to work". Stunned for a moment, I paused, then replied "well, ok, but it will be backwards in the mirror sooo"

I once told a guy that called me fat (I’m not) that he looked like. Blonde celery stick.

"The jerk store called their running out of you." George Constanza (seinfeld)

This guy I used to work with asked me our a few times. Each time I sad 'no' so he asked me why. I told him 'for many reasons. One being I'm allergic to penicillin.' I wish I had a 🎤to drop afterwards.

"Do you know who I am?" I know who you think you are.