This Angry unicorn (and the other readers) need some petty revenge! Write about it here...
#1
First of all, before the novel starts, I just wanna say, I know well...I only know one person named Karen, but Karen is so nice and so kind, she is my mom's doctor and comes to BBQs and whatnot. So instead, I will call the female Karenioo.
Once upon a time, there was an 8-year-old unicorn, who played around the sidewalk and was instructed to come home when the streetlights turned on (Yes, unicorns have these rules too!)
She pranced along the sidewalk and giggled and laughed, running around, she walked past an old suburban home, which had just got remodeled and looked utterly bland in the neighborhood of bright and big cottages.
Out came an old hag-looking woman, however, the little unicorn that used to be cheery, did not notice the Karenioo.
The Karenioo walked next to the unicorn, "What do you need?" She asked in a tiny little 8 yr old voice. Without saying a word the old Karenioo grabbed her by the arm, the naive unicorn thought Karenioo saw the streetlights turn on and was bringing little Cheery Unicorn to her house. But instead, Karenioo dragged the little unicorn into her house.
"Now you better take your sh*t somewhere else! Because I have lawyers and they will sue your a*s off!" Karenioo yelled, I don't think Karenioo knew she was talking to an 8 yr old. But once the little unicorn's pure innocent eyes heard those naughty words, she knew it was time to skedaddle.
Karenioo was still tightly holding on to her arm, but she didn't know that the little unicorn she kidnapped, was two and a half year karate blackbelt champion! The Cheery Unicorn kicked her, well, "under the belt" (idk about BP's moderation) and then kicked Karenioo's arm. She sprinted out the open door. And Karenioo, literally said, "You haven't seen the last of me!" You can't make this stuff up! The cheery unicorn ran into her house and cried into her mama's lap, the uni-ma didn't ask what was wrong though, she assumed there was some bully.
After it was time for the little unicorn to go to bed, she turned her nightlight on and brainstormed a plan
She pranced along the sidewalk and giggled and laughed, running around, she walked past an old suburban home, which had just got remodeled and looked utterly bland in the neighborhood of bright and big cottages.
Out came an old hag-looking woman, however, the little unicorn that used to be cheery, did not notice the Karenioo.
The Karenioo walked next to the unicorn, "What do you need?" She asked in a tiny little 8 yr old voice. Without saying a word the old Karenioo grabbed her by the arm, the naive unicorn thought Karenioo saw the streetlights turn on and was bringing little Cheery Unicorn to her house. But instead, Karenioo dragged the little unicorn into her house.
"Now you better take your sh*t somewhere else! Because I have lawyers and they will sue your a*s off!" Karenioo yelled, I don't think Karenioo knew she was talking to an 8 yr old. But once the little unicorn's pure innocent eyes heard those naughty words, she knew it was time to skedaddle.
Karenioo was still tightly holding on to her arm, but she didn't know that the little unicorn she kidnapped, was two and a half year karate blackbelt champion! The Cheery Unicorn kicked her, well, "under the belt" (idk about BP's moderation) and then kicked Karenioo's arm. She sprinted out the open door. And Karenioo, literally said, "You haven't seen the last of me!" You can't make this stuff up! The cheery unicorn ran into her house and cried into her mama's lap, the uni-ma didn't ask what was wrong though, she assumed there was some bully.
After it was time for the little unicorn to go to bed, she turned her nightlight on and brainstormed a plan
After she woke up and ate her Cheerios, she went into the yard and pranced again, she skipped over to Karenioo's house and knocked on the door.
"What the f**k do you want you little hooligan?!!!" Karenioo asked.
"What the f**k do you want you big ol' hooligan?!!!" Cheery Unicorn asked.
"Who the h*ll do you think you are calling people hooligans you mothertrucker!" (at least Karenioo had some sense) She yelled.
"Who the h*ll do you think you are calling people hooligans you mothertrucker!" Cheery Unicorn yelled.
This game of copying repeats until Karenioo asks Cheery Unicorn which house she came from
"XxxxXXxx XXXxxXXXx XXXX" Cheery Unicorn replied. (What? My mom still lives there!)
Karenioo drags Cheery to the house across the street and knocks on the door, holding Cheery tightly. Uni-ma comes and screams "Get your dirty hands off of my child!" Karenioo jumps back, not expecting this.
"Do you know who you're talking to?" Karenioo yells.
"You," Uni-ma says calmly. and Cheery Unicorn just had to let out a snicker (The next two stories I will write in first person since they're more recent).
Karenioo decides to do the most Karen-Sorry I mean Karenioo thing, she calls the police! She stands there tapping her foot while they arrive.
They arrive and my mom lets me explain what happened.
"I was playing, then this woman grabbed me and pulled me into her house, and yelled and cursed at me. I went home crying and she said that 'she'll get me for this', all I had been doing was playing and laughing. The next day, when I played again, she pulled me again and started shouting curses at me! I copied her and she got mad! And grabbed me and brang me to my house!
" We never saw Karenioo again, but that cop took us to brunch, and he is actually my step-dad. That worked out well, and my parents are happy! Hope you enjoyed this!
"What the f**k do you want you little hooligan?!!!" Karenioo asked.
"What the f**k do you want you big ol' hooligan?!!!" Cheery Unicorn asked.
"Who the h*ll do you think you are calling people hooligans you mothertrucker!" (at least Karenioo had some sense) She yelled.
"Who the h*ll do you think you are calling people hooligans you mothertrucker!" Cheery Unicorn yelled.
This game of copying repeats until Karenioo asks Cheery Unicorn which house she came from
"XxxxXXxx XXXxxXXXx XXXX" Cheery Unicorn replied. (What? My mom still lives there!)
Karenioo drags Cheery to the house across the street and knocks on the door, holding Cheery tightly. Uni-ma comes and screams "Get your dirty hands off of my child!" Karenioo jumps back, not expecting this.
"Do you know who you're talking to?" Karenioo yells.
"You," Uni-ma says calmly. and Cheery Unicorn just had to let out a snicker (The next two stories I will write in first person since they're more recent).
Karenioo decides to do the most Karen-Sorry I mean Karenioo thing, she calls the police! She stands there tapping her foot while they arrive.
They arrive and my mom lets me explain what happened.
"I was playing, then this woman grabbed me and pulled me into her house, and yelled and cursed at me. I went home crying and she said that 'she'll get me for this', all I had been doing was playing and laughing. The next day, when I played again, she pulled me again and started shouting curses at me! I copied her and she got mad! And grabbed me and brang me to my house!
" We never saw Karenioo again, but that cop took us to brunch, and he is actually my step-dad. That worked out well, and my parents are happy! Hope you enjoyed this!
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