Hey Pandas, What Would You Change About Yourself If You Could? (Closed)

Every last thing. I really don’t like anything about me

I feel a temptation to change most of the things about me, but if it were true, there'd be nothing left of me.

I would really like to have a little more self-confidence.

i would make my hair lay down easier

As an alcoholic I was told in order to stay sober I just had to change one thing. Everything.

In a way it is true. It's an everyday thing too. I have a daily reprieve from my disease but in order to have that I have to work on becoming a better person. I have noticed for the last two days my sarcasm as been high with my wife. I don't like being that type of person. So I reflect on why I am getting irritated with her. 99 percent of the time it is something with me.

What ever I am working on from day to day or moment to moment it is based in fear. Fear of not knowing something. Fear of not having enough or having too much. It's that fear that is the base of all my problems.

I would like to know what fear, empathy & sympathy are like. The latter 2 seem like the same thing when I read about them but they're apparently different.
I'd like to know what nervousness and embarrassment is like. I get nervous excitement but that's it.
I would also only like the changes to be temporary and not permanent.