Hey Pandas, Whats A Funny Kindergarten Story? (Closed)

I was in the same kindergarten class as my wife but we didn’t actually meet till the eighth grade been together every since 22 years

I have been a Kindergarten teacher for 15 years. No two days are alike. A few years ago I had a student come to class and wanted to show her friends her new chapstick. Just as she was about to put it on I read the label. It was not chapstick. It was Monistat. When I asked her where she got it from she said her mom’s bathroom. Needless to say, I did not let her put it on, and called mom so she could come pick it up.

Not sure if this is funny/lazy/etc. but one time I faked sleeping during nap time so I wouldn't have to do stuff.

I got out of line to get milk and cookies at snack time to kiss Gary Robinson and then had to stay back 10 minutes with the other naughty kids. My first kiss. I’ve always wondered where he moved to.

I made the school ban nap times for faking during them.

There was this long table and it was full of sand. One kid stuffed another’s mouth full with sand and then stood on the table screaming “I sand king”

I'll go in a different direction here...

My kindergarten 'graduation' certificate is displayed on my office wall. Along with my BS, MS, and Doctorate degrees.

Stay humble...

In kindergarten, I had a crush on this kid. He liked me back. We dated for a month and then he proposed. I said yes. We spent the whole school year planning the wedding and me and my friend even tried tried dig to China for the honeymoon. We never did get married...

We were all on a play set. It was recess and they had just mowed the football field but everyone in my kindergarden class thought that all of the lawn clippings were dinosaur bones. Good times.

Not funny then, but definitely funny now: My mom was late picking me up one day and I was absolutely convinced she had abandoned me. I felt abandoned and it was the worst feeling, which for some reason I still remember to this day!

The only kindergarten story I actually remember was how jealous I was of my little brother. He was like 2 and I was doing school, and I got mad because he got to play and I didn't. I ask my mom why, and she said that playing was his "schoolwork"

Not kinder garden but in first grade, we were all getting in line to go to reses and my best friend shouted "hay baby I saved you a spot!" let's just say she didn't get the get her "one love"(or any, she had a new crush each year)...still tease her about it today!

A little brick wall at the end of our street with the name of our development was tall enough for me to hide behind. When I didn’t want to go to school, I hid there, and the bus would just drive on by. I’d go home and tell my mom, “they drove right past me again”!! This worked a few times, and she she didn’t have a car to take me to school. Then the bus driver would stop and yell at me to come out from behind the wall. Embarrassing to get caught.

I once shoved a boy into a cupboard and sat in front of it so he couldn't open the doors to get out - only because he annoyed me

In kindergarten I bit a kid on the shoulder, really hard. I think it was justified however, because he was being a jerk. (He’s not a jerk anymore and all is forgiven). And then when he started crying and told on me, I gave this excuse to the teacher:
“it’s my brother’s fault, he’s terrible to me at home and it uses up all my kindness to deal with him.”
My brother was 2 at the time, and was just super annoying. But I got away with it.
This and a few other incidents led to the rumor that I was a vampire, and I supported it because I enjoyed the fact that people were afraid of me. I even considered the other kids my prey. Kindergarten was fun.

I don't remember any of my time in kindergarten but I do have a few fun ones about my daughter's time (which was last year). This first one wasn't funny at the time but we can smile about it now: my daughter is hypermobile and has rather weak muscles in her legs/hips/back. At the time she did not have extra bracing on the outside her shoes but did have ortho insoles. Her first two weeks of school she came home every single day with bandaids and bruises from her ankles rolling over and her going splat. I felt awful for her teacher, image always wondering when your pupil with suddenly crash. Luckily she did the same thing while seeing her ortho doc and he adjusted her shoes to help her out. Second one: She got on really well with the TA in her class. She always mispronounce said TAs name and it stuck. Even the other teachers now call poor Ms Blumly "Ms Crumly"

My son went to the high school for Winter Wonderland. He convinced the teachers, the volunteer parents, and the high school kids he didn’t have any presents for Christmas and no food at home to eat. The high school kids went to Walmart after school and bought him a lot of toys for Christmas morning. The school counselor and principal called because they were worried about him. We had the school give the presents to a family that really needed them. In reality, he had so many toys, he couldn’t even think of anything he wanted for Christmas. He has never been truly hungry and was never without toys.
He is now 14 and I have a dozen stories just like that. The principal still laughs about it when we see her. I never want to squash his imagination.