Hey Pandas, What's The Dumbest Ways You Ever Got Hurt?

I assumed I had bursitis in my left knee. I was walking to my room with dinner one night and I tripped over the vacuum cleaner hose. My left femur shattered and that is how I discovered that I had a giant cell tumor on my femur. I eventually had to have my leg amputated above the knee because my 3rd surgery was to give me an artificial knee and I contracted MRSA. At that point in time(2002) they were trying to cure MRSA with vancomycin and it just would not work. The last time I wound up in Mary Washington hospital with MRSA induced anaphylactic shock, I decided to have the leg amputated, caused by tripping over a vacuum hose.

i was 7 yrs old ,me and my friend were at the softball field down the street from where we lived (across the street from each other) we were climbing the fence and jumping off the bleachers wel it was time to go home and she had jumped 7 times and i had only jumped 6 ,i said wait i got to go one more time you went more then me we have to be even. Well i started to climb and slipped catching my wrist on the pointy edge of the fence ,hanging there by my wrist ,a worker at the concesion stand came running out to help me down, needless to say that was the first of very many trips to the er (getting 7 stitches) i was there quite often .

Fell off a treadmill infront of half the girls in my grade!! Had to laugh it off whilst I could barely walk LMAO (ʘ ͜ʖ ʘ)

Falling down three steps from my back door to the footpath (a house I'd lived in for over twelve years prior to this). I was concentrating on what I was doing and I was also completely sober, so I have no idea what happened on my part aside from being a moron.

What did end up happening medically was I broke three bones in my ankle, had to have a decent chunk of the rest of the year of work and still have issues with mobility nowadays even two years later.

My surgeon said to me at the time he was seeing me, "congratulations on breaking your ankle in possibly the worst way possible! Also for the arthritis you're almost guaranteed to get!" (We had a similar sense of humour, so I found it rather hilarious. Or maybe I was high on pain meds. Either or.)

All in all -- 0/10, do not recommend.

I got black-out drunk one night. The next morning I woke up on the couch with a severely bruised and sprained ankle. I had no idea what I did and missed a week of work for it. (I don't drink anymore!)

I have done some good ones. Broke my knee because I was looking at a couple of cute guys and not paying attention to where I was going; fell off a chair I was standing on and managed to turn a full 180 degrees while falling, bouncing off the corner of a steel table and breaking ribs in the front AND the back, fractured a vertebra, and tore my ACL. I landed face down on the slate floor, and was laughing hysterically until I realized there was no way I was getting up..

A farmer warned me not to touch the fence because it was electric. Guess what I did? I you guessed "heeded the wise old farmer's warning and kept away" you'd be very wrong. If you guessed touched the fence anyway, knocked the wind out of myself and received a bad electrical burn, you win a prize! (a prize you must purchase yourself)

Fell in love.

I was holding a kitchen knife in my left hand, pointed towards the right. Reached up with tight hand the yank off a paper towel from the roll mounted below an upper cabinet. Ended up stabbing myself in the flesh base of my right thumb. 4 stitches

Screamed when i was younger because after I fell down the stairs (again) there was a white piece of glitter in it that i assumed was a part of my bone. I was mortified

My school had one of those square metal lockers which were stacked in such a way that the whole arrangement was around 4 lockers wide and 5 lockers tall. Anyways, something unsafe our teachers had us do was placing objects that wouldn’t fit inside our lockers on top of the arrangement. The collection of items on top involved things like art supplies or stuff belonging to the teachers One day, I had art class so I needed to get my art kit down from the top of the locker. I’m a pretty short person (barely 5 feet, 1 inches) so I had to jump to get my stuff. Upon landing back on the ground, my dumbaß forgot that one of the locker doors on the middle rows was open so when landing I ended up tearing a gash through my leg across my femur. It hurt so bad that I couldn’t walk yet I was ashamed to tell people how I got injured so I had to pretend everything was fine till I got home and cried from the pain

British boarding school, one rainy Saturday evening. The TV wasn't working (sort of shimmery not-quite-there almost picture) so we thought we'd fix it, like teenage boys with far less skill than they think they have are wont to do.
It took four of us to get it down, it was a huge cathode ray thing, I don't recall the actual size but it was in the corner of the dining room so big enough to be well seen all around the room.

We got the dusty cardboard back off, and had started wiggling all the connections to the main board see if it made any difference. Bear in mind these were connections for the focus and beam steering so scary voltages AND a live chassis (we didn't know that at the time) and we were like just reaching in and poking stuff.
There was one connection that was hard to get to, so I just pushed that big fat black cable out of the way. The big fat black cable with perishing rubber (this was probably the problem) and something like 44kV lurking within and partly without.
Allegedly I did a pretty instant backflip, cleared one table behind me entirely, and demolished the table beyond that by landing square in the middle.

All I know is that I woke up in the sanatorium being examined by paramedics (who eventually decided I needed rest, not hospital) and a matron who was far far too freaked out to even be angry. I was there for several days, and several doctors visits, and matron stayed up all night with me that first night.
It took *weeks* before I didn't hurt everywhere, and a fair bit longer before my arms and legs didn't hurt. And matron? Didn't need to say anything, my mom said it all, loudly. And I just sat and took it because yes it was f*cking stupid and I am lucky I didn't die - she was right about all of that.

I don't know what happened to the others, I expect some sort of punishment. Afterwards it was just a sort of Lovecraftian "things of which we shall never speak", and they had to shuffle the meal arrangements around because there was indeed one table less. Oops.

I'm in my early fifties now. I'm at home with electronics, I've made little things with Arduino and ESP32, I've fixed microwaves, washing machines, fridges, and old computers. I've even wired some extra sockets to the living room.

But there is one thing that is very strictly off limits. The insides of cathode ray devices. I won't go near them. Consider it a lesson learned in the stupidest way imaginable.

There was a post here once about a woman who got a taser and would never let men hold it because they immediately tested it on themselves every. single. time. I too am a guy lol. Tapering myself was the dumbest but it didn't result in any injuries at least. Once I had the handlebars snap completely off my bmx after dropping an 8 stair and somehow managed to land on my feet and run it out... except while running and celebrating my agility I ran smack into a brick pillar and busted my forehead open.

I was a kid and my Mum and I were visiting friends of hers. They were doing grown up stuff, but the friends lent me their bike, so I was happily zipping up and down the hill outside as fast as possible on their bike. Their folding bike. Which folded, pitching me face-first into a kerb stone. Split my chin open, smashed my front teeth.