Hey Pandas, What's The Most Hurtful Thing You've Ever Realized But Had To Keep It As A Secret? (Closed)

i found out that i was the least favorite child.

all parents SHOULD like all of their children equally. unfortunately, mine dont.

i figured this out when i was way younger. it was things as small as getting toys and other things for my younger siblings right in front of me(no occasion whatsoever, and it was right in front of me too.), to things as big as rating me as if i was an amazon review(i got a 2/5 stars :/) and lunging across the table because i blinked too hard(i wish i was joking. i so very wish i was)

i have tried confronting them, but i was met with responses practically deflecting my problem, and i was basically ignored. so i guess i just stopped and kept it a secret, since they keep forgetting all my problems anyways

My parents hate me. I'm terrible and a disappointment to them. But I can't say that, because then I look delusional because of how much of an effort they put up to look normal from the outside. I'm trapped and hated and idk if I'll make it out. The only people who love me? Don't even know me in person.

That I suck, my parents deserve so much better I cry all the time, I complain about everything, I never focus on the good either. They are the best people I know and they deserve better, but they are still happy with me for some reason even though they deserve the best.

I couldn't stop cutting myself because it makes me feel better.

I'm adopted. My dad's family just doesn't like me, at all. They act like they do in front of my dad, but they don't.

That my grandfather was physically abusive to my grandmother, including rape, but my mother has repressed the memories of the incidences she witnessed as a child. I found out from her older brother. I have known for years, but my mother has no memory of these traumatic events. My mother has some severe personality disorders she will not acknowledge, which are most likely related to things her father did.