Hey Pandas, What's The Weirdest Thing A Kid Has Ever Said To You?

This kid randomly came up to me at the park one time and handed me a dandelion and said in these exact words: "I got one for you because you looked like you were lonely and I didn't want the shadow people to eat you!" WHAT

This guy in my class one week ago suddenly whispered in my ear “hey gorgeous” and then he said “Don’t go to Agra or else instead of looking at the Taj Mahal, people will look at you”.

The same kid today said “Are you the bottom of my laptop because you’re hot”

F*****g creep

“I hope you die, and go to heaven”

“STOP LOOKING AT ME” i wasn’t even looking at this kid….

7 year old said "You looked like a darn puzzle."

And I felt it maybe a little too deeply.😅

The strangest encounter I’ve had was “ I hide a jar of pickles in my sock drawer. Don’t tell my mom.” It was weird to say the least.

as a kid myself (11 years old) i feel like its even weirder weirder when kids talk to other kids. one of my friends called me at 9PM and said this. "GET TO SWEDEN, AND RAID THE PALACE, THEN GIVE ME A ROCK!"

...

I was working with second graders. A girl starts talking about her summer vacation to New York City. We were chatting about that, and all of a sudden, she goes 'I'm scared to go there'. I ask why, and she says 'because a bad man hit the towers'. Now, I'm a volunteer. I have no idea how to talk about 9/11 to a 7 year old. Another kid joins in, and to comfort her, he says 'don't worry! They can't do it again. The towers are gone!'. I changed the subject as fast as possible but HOO BOY that was awkward

At the check-out at a grocery store, a mother was holding her crying 1-l year old, while 2.5 year old was sitting in the cart crying, and 6 & 8 year olds were running around in the open space between lanes, screaming. All were boys, and ages are approximate. The poor mother looked completely spent. The 8 year old (with an item-purchased sticker over his eye) ran straight straight up to me, swung his arm like he had a sword, and yelled “Aargh, I’m a pirate!”

So my mom volunteered for this America reads thing, so she had kids just read books to her. Anyway, I'm friends with one of the girls, she's 9 and I'm 13. Actual conversation between us.
Her: "I like your mom a lot, she's really nice."
Me: "thank you!"
Her: "I want to take her home with me and keep her as a pet."
Me: ....

I was attending a summer music camp as a teenager. I met a young woman who suddenly announced “my mother thought I was a tumor”. No details beyond that about mom’s discovery that she was pregnant and didn’t just have a cyst.

When my son was 3, he decided that he was a "tomano" [tomato] named Mr. McGuckett Pants.

He's now 4, and I recently heard him tell his sister (10) that he likes "tomanoes" because the voice in his head told him they're yummy.

My best friend randomly calls me at 1am and says: “mr nurples is coming” then hung up needless to say I couldn’t fall back asleep