Hey Pandas, What's Your Funniest Encounter With A Toddler? (Closed)

My friends toddler. He was talking. He watched the the Toy Story film that was out at the time. He was obsessed with Forky. Every time he saw an advertisement, poster, whatever with Forky he would shout "Me want Forky!" At least he tried to. It came out rather rudely, a child saying "Me want Fucky!" in public. Cue disapproving glares from strangers. My friend tried to explain the difference in pronunciation, the child could not hear any difference.

I was crossing a park with a friend, some random little girl comes running and says "Hi!", we say it back and she runs away. We found it funny and laughed it off. Seconds later, the girl's friend comes running towards us and goes like "hi, what my friend wanted to say was that you two are very cute and beautiful". I swear I never felt so happy with a compliment

One was walking by, pointed at me, and said "bay-biee!" (baby). I was 8. He was younger.

My sister has a blended family (which they are doing wonderfully!!!!). They each have a kid from before they married and one that is both of theirs. Well, the first time I met his child I just said hi to him and received a resounding "NO!" as the response.

A bit of bribery and we've been best buds ever since (no worries, I equally bribe all my nephews with small gifts).

My mom breeds collies and to understand this story you need to understand a little about collies. Basically there are rough collies and smooth collies, and rough collies are the super fluffy ones you see all the time and smooth collies have short fur. Rough and smooth genes can appear in a litter, so there will be a few rough collies and a few smooth ones based on the parents genetics.

In the litter that we had, there was one rough puppy and three smooth ones. My baby cousin was like 4, and she grabbed the fluffy puppy (her name is Tiny Dancer), and my little cousin grabbed her and went “FLUFFYYY”. And she like wouldn’t let go until the puppy fell asleep on her lap. It was really cute.

This is what I was told. I was visiting my friend (see you on the other side, Mule, RIP) who had 4 girls who were a little older and they were picking and eating raspberries the entire day with my 4 year old son. Well he didn't want to go home so he spent the night. The next day he was eating more berries then went to help in the garden. He bent over and farted, stood back up with big eyes and said matter of factly, "I got the skitters". So one of the girls, she would have been about 10, had to help him clean up and get new underwear on. She still tells that story and can't keep a straight face, and they are both adults now.

This was when I was very young. (Maybe 5). I was in a bouncy castle and this two year old comes up to me and straight up just punches me in the nose.

They were fascinated by my green hair and did not stop touching it.

I have a boy and a girl 14 months apart. My boy, 3, just discovered his sister is different from him. He was standing beside her in the bath and kept looking at her front and then her back with this WTF look on his face…then he’d look down at himself, and look at her, starting the whole process over again. We’re assuming he thinks her butt goes all the way round to her front.

Seeing my niece riding a power wheels 3-wheeler around the house while eating half a cheezburger almost made me want to have kids.

whale(im trying to say well but i keep saying whale) anyway not me but my brother anyway toddler was like"this hooman child is mine" and grabbed my brothers arm and would not let go DISCLAIMER: the toddler did not literallty say "this hooman child is mine"

Not the fu niest, but more recent: My daughter asked for a boost to look into the fridge, and when daddy complied, she added her own sound effect, "Woooooop" similar to a slide whistle.

My youngest cousin (3,F) once came to me (16,M) with her finger streched out and a little 'thing' on top of it. I was worried that she might have gotten a splinter while playing in the garden and examined the 'thing' carefully. She wasn't hurt and I couldn't determine what it was. I asked her where she got that thing. She just said: "From here." and pointed to her nose. Hillarious. 🤣

At the park. My then 3yo notices an 8 yo boy pitching a major fit next to his mother. 3yo walks up and informs her”your little baby girl is crying”. I figured it was time to leave before mom got indignant. 3yo is very social so these situations happen often.

They were fascinated by my green hair and did not stop touching it.

They were fascinated by my green hair and did not stop touching it.