My parents divorced on really bad terms after it came out that my father had been cheating for at least 7 years and had two daughters with another woman. Long story short, because of a lot of manipulation, playing favourites and basically trapping me into a decision, I left my mom and two brothers for him. This resulted in breaking of basically all connections to my mother's side of the family (them telling me I'm at fault for everything). Shortly after the divorce, my father married his mistress. I don't hate her for what happened, in the end my father is just a complete narcissist. I just really don't like his wife as a person (your typical essential oil believer). Her two daughters also did not have anything to do with this, and I have a pretty good bond with the older one. I have restored a more or less good connection with my mom and my little brother in the past two years, at the same time realising how little respect I actually have for my father.
Overall, I have no familial connection to either of my parents, and because they hate each other so much, it's always walking on eggshells when I'm around them. I have endured so much pain and trauma from all of this, I don't really want anything to do with them, but I keep an albeit emotionally distant, but social connection.
Two years ago I met my soulmate and now have been living with him for over a year. He is an amazing person and always is there for me when the childhood trauma stirs it's ugly head. We have already talked about marriage and will probably tie the knot in the next couple of years. His parents are also the nicest people I know, as are his siblings. I am closer with them than with my own parents.
Generally, we want a small wedding, where his family and our friends would only be invited. I can not possibly invite both my parents, my mother literally said she'd murder someone (I don't believe her, but they have been physically violent before). I also don't particularly want my stepmother there, nor do I want to have to choose between my mother and father again. My solution to all of this is to not invite either parent. I will however probably only invite my older half-sister. My younger half-sister doesn't really have a relationship with me, neither does my little brother. My older brother basically denies my existence.
I'm not sure this is the right decision and will probably offend someone.
How would you handle this situation? Who would you invite? Do you have a similar experience perhaps?