No, you aren’t. I would be seriously hurt if that happened to me. I may be young, but I want to say this from my heart and from my parent’s divorce: first, you aren’t at fault, your husband is, second, if your husband doesn't care about your feelings, then leave him. He isn’t worth it. I get that it will be hard, and I know what it’s like to be insecure. If your husband is drinking with your money, then don’t allow him to use that money. If you aren’t willing to divorce, find out why he has a drinking problem. If you divorce, get him out of your life. I would leave. The relationship is starting to get toxic. If you don’t love him, file a divorce and get your stuff away from him. There’s no worry about custody, as your stepsons are grown up. You are questioning yourself. That will lead to problems down the road. NTA. If he truly loves you, then he’d respect your feelings. Being drunk is not an excuse.
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