Honesty is the best policy! Whether you’re starting a romantic relationship, building a friendship or telling your landlord why the bathroom flooded, it’s always a good idea to be truthful. But does omitting the truth count as lying?
After one woman’s roommates suddenly realized that she was married, they started panicking and accusing their friend of lying to them for years. Now, she’s asking the internet if she was in the wrong for not making her relationship status crystal clear. Below, you’ll find the story she posted on Reddit, as well as some of the replies readers have shared.
This woman has never discussed her relationship status with her roommates
Image credits: Michelle Leman/Pexels (not the actual photo)
But when they suddenly found out that she's been married for years, they began questioning their entire friendship
Image credits: Liza Summer/Pexels (not the actual photo)
Image credits: buffythepslayer
Later, the woman answered a few questions from readers and provided more background information
Every friendship should be built on a foundation of honesty
Image credits: Roberto Nickson/Pexels (not the actual photo)
There are times when it might feel tempting to bend the truth rather than to be completely honest. If your friend asks how their performance in the school play was, it’s probably better to simply be supportive than to start giving notes. And you can always downplay how obvious your best friend’s pimple is; there’s no reason to hurt their self-esteem!
But when it comes to building a friendship or relationship, honesty certainly is the best policy. Be forthcoming about your history, your lifestyle, your emotions and more. It might not always be comfortable, but it’s much better than building a friendship on a foundation of lies.
When it comes to why honesty is so important in relationships, We Thrive Together notes that it creates a solid foundation of trust. Knowing that someone will always be honest with you can make you feel safe around them and allow you to feel safe sharing your own secrets with them.
Being truthful with friends also creates a stronger bond because it encourages mutual respect. If you didn’t care about your friend, you wouldn’t bother being honest with them when you could simply bend the truth to make conversations easier. But if you love and respect them, you’ll want to be forthcoming with them. Everyone deserves to know the truth.
This can help us build a genuine connection with loved ones too. The more that we share with our friends, the deeper their understanding of us will grow. And it will encourage them to share about their own background as well. This requires open communication and active listening, but it’s certainly worth the effort to achieve a mutually honest relationship.
There are always risks associated with omitting or bending the truth
While it’s debatable whether omitting the truth is considered lying or not, if it feels like you’re being dishonest, that’s probably not a good sign. And according to VeryWell Mind, there are always risks associated with bending the truth.
Before going out of your way to be dishonest, it’s important to consider the long-term consequences. Will this lie come back to bite you? Would it be better to simply tell the truth now than let it come out on its own later?
By being deceitful, you risk losing the trust of loved ones. And it can take a toll on your mental health to hold onto secrets that you desperately want to release. This might harm your relationships as well, if you find yourself pulling away from friends to avoid letting the truth slip out.
In this particular story, there’s no way of knowing whether the friends should have picked up on their roommate’s relationship status or if the author was intentionally keeping her marriage on the down low. Perhaps there was just a lack of communication going on in their household. But it’s impossible to build a strong friendship without understanding where your friend is at and what’s going on in their personal life. Communication is key to building and maintaining bonds.
We would love to hear your thoughts on this situation in the comments below, pandas. Feel free to weigh in, and then, if you’d like to check out another Bored Panda article discussing similar themes, we recommend reading this piece next.
Many readers took the author's side, noting that her roommates could have deduced that she was married
However, some believed that she must have deliberately been keeping her marriage a secret
