It’s important to support your partner and show them that you are on their side when someone is being unfair to them, but in a healthy relationship, you also need to give them a reality check and speak your mind if you don’t really agree with their point of view.
This woman was pretty amazed at a fellow gym member who aced a newly installed route and high-fived the woman, congratulating her, but also because she was glad someone could do something her boyfriend couldn’t as he was stupidly competitive. Only the return back home was pretty tense as the boyfriend felt betrayed.
More info: Reddit
Woman supported fellow woman after she was the only one to complete a hard climbing route, but her boyfriend didn't appreciate that
Image credits: Aleksandr Zykov (not the actual photo)
The original poster’s (OP) boyfriend likes going to the climbing gym and he is pretty good at it, but his attitude towards beginners is very negative, which makes the woman feel uncomfortable because she is also a beginner.
Their gym installed a new route and it meant that many people didn’t do well, including the OP and her boyfriend, as it needs time and training. However, one of the women there seemed to glide through and her only mistake was that she didn’t hold for 5 seconds when finishing the route, as it is the proper way.
The boyfriend is into climbing and is not only very competitive, but constantly insults beginners, despite the author of the story being one
Image credits: djru183
As far as the OP could see, her boyfriend was salty that someone could do the route when he couldn’t, which probably explained his remark on the 5-second rule. The woman didn’t take it to heart and pointed out that he didn’t even start correctly and walked off in the direction of OP, who raised her hand for a high-five.
The boyfriend took offense and didn’t talk with his girlfriend for the rest of the night, and when they were going home, he finally said that he felt betrayed when the person who was supposed to watch his back was on the side of the person who publicly humiliated him.
Well, he was only “humiliated” because he nitpicked another person’s climbing and it just so happened that the woman didn’t allow him to have the last say. All of this didn’t matter to the boyfriend because he believed that the opinion of strangers shouldn’t matter and partners must always be on each other’s side.
Their gym had a new route installed and it was a difficult one that many failed, including the boyfriend, except this one woman who made it seem so easy
Image credits: djru183
It really sucks when you expect someone to back you up but they decide to take the opposite side of the argument and it is especially frustrating when it is your partner. Licensed mental health counselor Jeremy Ortman explains why these feelings arise. “Your relationship is your safety zone, and when your partner is not on your side, an internal signal can go off warning that the connection is under threat.”
When your partner publicly doesn’t agree with you, that can make you feel abandoned as you already were feeling insecure because it seemed that everyone else had a different opinion. But it’s unrealistic to always agree on everything.
At the end, she didn't hold for long enough and the man was the first to point it out, but the woman was happy to remind him he didn't even start right
Image credits: djru183
However, generally experts will advise couples to not express that disagreement in public. Black And Married With Kids says that “If your spouse is saying or doing something that you do not agree with, then you should wait and discuss it with him/her in private. And it also means that couples should never speak negatively about each other or try to belittle each other in public.”
On the other hand, they admit that it can look fake and feel fake as if you are trying to seem like a perfect couple, so “Couples should know it’s acceptable to disagree in public only if we aren’t by any means being disrespectful. There is no room for belittling, cursing out or fronting our partners off, ever. Adults should behave like adults and people who are in love should behave like those who are in love.”
His girlfriend was so amazed by her that she gave her a high-five, but the boyfriend interpreted it as a betrayal for siding with someone who humiliated him
Image credits: olia danilevich (not the actual photo)
That said, every situation is different and should be evaluated separately. Redditors did that and their conclusion was that the boyfriend got offended for no reason because nobody was trying to humiliate him. Plus, it was the price to pay for being petty and trying to belittle someone’s achievement. People agreed that the man needed a reality check.
Do you have the same opinion? Should the OP not have congratulated the woman when she just snapped back at her boyfriend, or was he too sensitive in this situation? Let us know in the comments.
People in the comments called out the boyfriend for being petty, jealous and believed he should get rid of his toxic masculinity
Image credits: Polina Zimmerman (not the actual photo)
